One gray Friday, as the snow drifted indifferently outside his Manhattan window, Ryan Sean Adams sat hunched over the blue glare of his monitor and declared—with a cynicism only years in the industry could breed—“Fundstrat’s Tom Lee is the most bullish thing to happen to Ethereum this year.” There’s laughter in the gulag, too.
Tom Lee. Yes, the man who in 2017 declared—deadpan, before God and CNBC—that Bitcoin would ascend to $55,000 while it scraped aimlessly near $2,000. The CNBC anchors smiled at Lee then, the way doctors smile at patients who swear they’ve swallowed a planet, and Wall Street barely stifled its giggles. Meanwhile, Jamie Dimon planned public executions (career-wise), and Warren Buffett fingered his abacus, muttering “rat poison squared.” A menagerie of misplaced faith, if ever there was one.
Bitmine Stock Has a Destiny (Apparently on Mars) 🚀
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Adams—sage or jester—concluded: “Best thing to happen to Ethereum this year. Wall Street isn’t listening? You poor fools. Get ready for FOMO season. ETH is going up!” One could almost hear the distant slog of Soviet boots at the word “season.”
Tom Lee is the most bullish thing to happen to ETH? Possibly. He was that guy on CNBC promising miracles. Wall Street presumed he’d been gnawing at the bark too long. I recall those broadcasts: the anchors grinning like zookeepers before a particularly unpredictable chimpanzee.
— RYAN SΞAN ADAMS – rsa.eth (@RyanSAdams) July 3, 2025
Elsewhere, DCinvestor addressed his horde of 265,000 followers with the weary resignation of one awaiting an audit. He confessed his dislike for Ethereum, “but trillions of dollars in stablecoins, and every financial institution worldwide piling onto this blockchain can’t be all bad,” he said, probably with a sigh heavy enough to bend steel.
“I admit it, the stampede is real. Even I, at the end of the day, must bow before the avalanche of on-chain cash.”
Astute analysts gnawed at their pencils and concluded that, should this treasury trend persist, ETH might do something upstanding with its price. Elsewhere Joseph Lubin, SharpLink’s grand vizier, raised $425 million—crypto’s answer to sacking Rome. His firm would ring the Nasdaq closing bell on July 7, probably hoping for divine intervention from the trading gods.
“Ethereum is the key to the future,” Lubin declared, hands raised, as if that ever stopped the wolves.
ETH: The Unmoving Target 🛌
Yet—despite all this triumphalism—Ethereum’s price remains as static as a provincial party meeting. Observers mutter that it now resembles a stablecoin, not through design but sheer lack of pulse. ETH poked its nose over $2,600 late Thursday, then slumped back on Friday morning with the enthusiasm of a prisoner digging a tunnel only to hit concrete.
‘Merlijn The Trader’ pronounced in a tone fit for a firing squad, “Ethereum has nailed the retest. It bounced off the breakout. Glory awaits.” Though for now the only thing ETH is reclaiming seems to be the futon it sleeps on after another sideways chart.
The next wave is coming, they promise. It just hasn’t gotten its marching papers yet. Hold the line. Or don’t—the market will hardly notice. 😉
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2025-07-04 08:58