The United States House of Representatives, not widely reputed for their surfing skills, have decreed that the bustling week beginning July 14 will henceforth be hailed as “Crypto Week.” Apparently, we are now naming weeks after possible triggers of future bank runs. 🏦🎉
For this seven-day thrill ride, lawmakers plan to dig into three digital asset bills: the CLARITY Act (which sounds reassuringly like a brand of eye drops), the Anti-CBDC Act (a bold stand against terrifying acronyms), and the GENIUS Act (presumably named using the same process as middle school science fair projects).
The Proposed Legislation
According to a July 3 statement from House Financial Services Committee Chair French Hill, House Agriculture Committee Chair Glenn Thompson, and Speaker Mike Johnson—who assure us this isn’t just a group project they remembered was due in the morning—America is about to become the “crypto capital of the world.” Finally, something to put on the bumper stickers.
“We are taking historic steps to ensure the United States remains the world’s leader in innovation and I look forward to ‘Crypto Week’ in the House,” declared Chairman Hill, possibly while power-pointing a chart with an upward arrow.
After years pushing paperwork, there is apparently a trickle of actual progress toward “landmark legislation.” Or, at the very least, legislation that will provide enough clarity to make a fog bank envious.
“House Republicans are taking decisive steps to deliver the full scope of President Trump’s digital assets and cryptocurrency agenda,” pitched Johnson, suggesting there is a spreadsheet somewhere with the words “digital assets” and “full scope” highlighted in neon.
Hill went on to note that these new rules are designed to protect consumers and investors. This involves setting out how dollar-backed stablecoins (think crypto, but less like a roller coaster) should be issued and managed, while also heroically preventing a Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC) from ever seeing the light of day. CBDCs, it seems, have not joined the family WhatsApp chat.
Back in April, the CBDC Anti-Surveillance State Act squeaked through the House Financial Services Committee by a dazzling score of 27 to 22, showing just how confident lawmakers are about digital fiat currencies: not very. After all, nothing says “we love technology” like legislating it never happens.
The CLARITY Act, meanwhile, made it through the House Financial Services and Agriculture Committees in June, peeking bravely over the parapets of bureaucracy.
“I am pleased the House will consider the CLARITY Act, among other digital asset-related bills, this month…Time and again, we have heard the calls for regulatory clarity and certainty in this ecosystem,” offered Chairman Thompson, with the gravitas of a man who has just discovered the definition of “ecosystem.”
The Act proposes a double-whammy regulatory framework: depending on which dart lands where, either the SEC or the CFTC will be in charge. Crypto companies will also need to open their ledgers and keep your money separate from their “oops, we accidentally lost it” funds—a true innovation.
Democratic Opposition
Over in the Senate, they passed the GENIUS Act last month—because every bill deserves a stage—and now it’s off to see if Congress is awake enough to vote. The House seems keen on the GENIUS Act, perhaps dazzled by the name, over its own STABLE Act. The crucial (sorry!) difference? It’s basically a turf war over which level of government gets to supervise stablecoin issuers, best summarized as a power struggle between “local bureaucracy” and “federal bureaucracy.”
Meanwhile, Democratic lawmakers have taken a strong “no, thank you” position against both the GENIUS Act and the general crypto market structure bill, raising concerns about President Trump’s personal fondness for crypto (and, one suspects, for anything with a gold finish). In a surprise twist, Adam Schiff wants amendments banning politicians and their families from profiting off crypto assets, which could leave several dinner tables unusually quiet this election cycle.
And so, Crypto Week awaits—expect frantic Googling, a crash course in blockchains, and, if history is any guide, copious amounts of confusion all around. 🚀🍿
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2025-07-04 14:35