Somewhere, beneath the endless digital snow, Barnabé Monnot, a weary Ethereum developer, found it in his heart to propose EIP-7782—a scheme so daring, so audacious, that even my Uncle Vanya would question his sobriety 👀.
The proposition? Ethereum blocks, already scurrying along at a hasty twelve seconds, will henceforth be summoned every six—faster than a Russian bureaucrat bolts out of the office on a Friday night! Naturally, they’ve named this “Glamsterdam,” because no one had the decency to call it “The Faster Doom” upgrade. And of course, it’s all set to happen in 2026, assuming the world is still turning and the servers haven’t collapsed beneath the weight of their own ambition.
Should this miracle occur, block proposal timing shrinks by one second. Attestation subslots—whatever those are—will collapse from four seconds to 1.5 seconds, which, according to official calculations, results in changes so swift that even your grandma might notice. Not to mention, aggregation gets the same slimming treatment. All in all, you lose six seconds—what a bargain!
The experts claim, with straight faces, that users will see “seamless experiences.” Quicker confirmations, tighter arbitrage windows, lower fees—perhaps a few tears of joy among the odd trader who checked too many tabs. If you feel a tremor, it’s not the blockchain; it’s the collective shudder of traders realizing they now have even less time to screw up their transactions.
And so, as the crypto salons fill with debate and the old-timers grumble into their vodkas, Ethereum perhaps stumbles closer to innovation—or at least exhaustion. Will anyone remember this in a year? In Chekhov’s Moscow, maybe not. But in blockchain, even the ghosts are speedrunning. 🍷
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2025-06-24 17:20