Crypto Chaos: Trump’s GENIUS Act & $27M Hack

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Ah, the crypto world: where fortunes are made and lost with the whimsy of a roulette wheel 🎲. This week, we witnessed the signing of the GENIUS Act by Donald Trump, a development so monumental it could be the plot twist in a dystopian novel 📚. Meanwhile, the crypto landscape was set ablaze by a $27 million hack on BigONE, because what’s a legislative milestone without a healthy dose of chaos? 😈

DeFi: The Wild West of Finance 🤠

Grvt, pronounced with the gravitas of “Gravit,” is launching “Strategies,” a peer-to-peer marketplace that lets users allocate capital into curated investment strategies managed by professionals. Because who doesn’t want to entrust their life savings to a stranger on the internet? 🤷‍♂️ It’s a brave new world, indeed.

Web3: Where Privacy Meets Revolution 🔒

BTCC, the OG cryptocurrency exchange, released its July 2025 Proof of Reserves report, boasting a 132% reserve ratio. That’s like having a piggy bank that’s overflowing with more than you ever thought possible 🤑. Meanwhile, companies like COTI and Aleo are cooking up encryption solutions that are as sleek as a James Bond gadget 🕵️‍♂️.

Roxom plans to launch the world’s first Bitcoin-denominated capital market platform. Because, you know, the world was just missing a Bitcoin capital market 🤷‍♂️. EthCC Cannes 2025 was the place to be, with Ethereum‘s growing adoption and networking that was probably as vibrant as a Cannes film festival 🎬.

Security: The Achilles’ Heel of Crypto 💔

BigONE’s $27 million hack was like a bad joke: “Why did the hacker attack the hot wallet?” “Because it was a third-party supply chain attack, duh!” 📦. Abacus Market vanished into thin air, leaving behind a trail of suspicion and the faint scent of an exit scam 🚫. Arcadia Finance got hit with a $3.5 million exploit, proving that DeFi can be a wild ride 🎢.

Regulation: The Crypto Rollercoaster 🎠

The GENIUS Act, championed by Trump, stalled in the House, because, of course, it did 🤦‍♂️. But then, it passed with a resounding 308-122 vote, with Democrats joining the party 🎉. Trump’s executive order could open 401(k) plans to crypto, because who doesn’t want their retirement savings to be as volatile as a meme stock? 📈

The SEC is considering a regulatory exemption for tokenizing real-world assets. Bank of America is launching a stablecoin, because, why not? 🤷‍♂️ It’s a brave new world, and we’re all just along for the ride 🎢.

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2025-07-20 17:43