Oh, the exquisite folly of it all! Coinbase’s Conor Grogan, that oracle of digital disasters, declares that billions in Ethereum have slipped into the void, courtesy of nothing more sophisticated than human bungling. What a testament to our age of wonders! 😏
Via the grand stage of social media X, Grogan pontificates that a mere minimum of 913,111 ETH—equating to a staggering $3.43 billion—has been eternally misplaced, all due to errors that would embarrass a toddler with a crayon. How charmingly predictable! 🤦♂️
This loss, amounting to a trifling 0.76% of ETH’s supply, is waved away with the nonchalance of a bygone aristocrat misplacing his cufflinks. Grogan notes it with the air of one who’s seen it all before. 😌
Leading the charge in this parade of pratfalls is the Web3 Foundation, those intrepid defenders of crypto-utopia, who somehow contrived to lose access to 306,276 ETH thanks to a bug in their Parity multisig wallet. One can almost hear the gnomes of Zurich chuckling in sympathy. 🐞😂
But Grogan doesn’t stop there; he gleefully adds that Ethereum’s EIP-1559 burn mechanism has dispatched some $23.42 billion—or about 5% of all ETH ever minted—into the flames of permanence. How delightfully pyromaniacal! Truly, a bonfire of vanities in the digital realm. 🔥
And lest we forget, the tally swells further when contemplating the ETH trapped in the clutches of lost private keys, neither here nor there, just languishing in cryptographic purgatory. Ah, the poetry of inaccessibility! 🔒🤷♂️
“To be clear, this $3.4 billion+ number significantly undershoots the actual lost/inaccessible ETH amount. It just covers instances where Ethereum is locked forever.” Grogan confesses with a wink, as if underestimating catastrophe is the height of wit. 😅
“For example, it doesn’t cover all lost private keys or things like Genesis wallets that have been forgotten.” Indeed, the mind boggles at the forgotten keys and dusty digital relics gathering cobwebs in some virtual attic. How very human—and how very hilarious! 😂
At present, ETH trades at $3,869, having skyrocketed nearly 60% in the last month, proving that even in loss, the beast of speculation thrives. What a rollercoaster! 📈😱
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2025-07-28 15:12