Bitcoin Obsession: Japanese Firm Preps $3.7B Shelf to Hoard More BTC 😂

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So, here’s the deal: Tokyo-listed Metaplanet Inc.—you know, the company that’s obsessed with Bitcoin like a kid with candy—just filed paperwork for a whopping ¥555 billion ($3.7 billion) shelf registration. Why? Oh, you guessed it: they want MORE Bitcoin. Because apparently, 17,132 BTC isn’t enough. 🙄 Their so-called “Bitcoin Plan” is aiming to scoop up 210,000 BTC by 2027. Yeah, because why not?

Metaplanet Wants ¥555B to Bulk Up Its Bitcoin Stash 🤑

This Japanese outfit already holds 17,132 BTC (as of July 31, 2025). But no, that’s not good enough. They’re looking for flexible financing options to turbocharge their initial strategy from January. Oh, and guess what? They’ve called an extraordinary general meeting for September 1, 2025, to amend their Articles of Incorporation. Because nothing screams “extraordinary” like changing corporate rules to hoard more crypto. 🤷‍♂️

Here’s where it gets even funnier: they’re proposing to increase their authorized common shares from 1.61 billion to 2.723 billion. And don’t forget about the two shiny new classes of perpetual preferred shares—Class A and Class B. Each class can issue up to 277.5 million shares. So basically, they’re setting themselves up to print money… or at least pretend they’re printing Bitcoin. The shelf registration will stay open for two years starting August 9, 2025. Talk about planning ahead!

And get this: all proceeds from any share issuance will go straight into buying MORE Bitcoin (BTC). No other plans. Just Bitcoin. Like, maybe they should rename the company “BitPlant” or something. 🚀 But wait—here’s the kicker: no decision has been made yet. Yup, they’re just preparing for the possibility of doing something. Someday. Maybe. Transparency? Sure. Overkill? Absolutely.

Oh, and in true bureaucratic fashion, they’re stressing that they don’t have concrete plans right now. Of course they don’t. But if they do decide to pull the trigger, we’ll hear about it. Until then, this whole thing feels like they’re just flexing on the rest of us. “Look how much Bitcoin we COULD buy!” Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to figure out if I can afford lunch. 🍕

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2025-08-01 18:01