Bitcoin Buy-Up: Is This a Smart Move or Utter Madness? 🤔

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Right, so Metaplanet. Apparently, they’ve decided that the best way to start August is by snapping up 463 Bitcoin. Honestly, it’s like when you decide a new handbag will solve all your problems. It’s the first public company to capitalise on a 5% weekend dip, which sounds impressively proactive, but secretly I suspect someone just pressed a button hoping for the best. 🤷‍♀️

They spent 8 billion Japanese yen (which is, apparently, $53.7 million – honestly, all these numbers make my head hurt) getting the Bitcoin, averaging about $115,895 a pop. It’s a lot of money. Like, *a lot*. I could buy a small island with that… or maybe just a really nice flat. Anyway, their total haul is now 17,595 Bitcoin – worth over $2 billion. They’re the seventh-largest corporate Bitcoin holder. Which means they’re doing… something. 🤨

Apparently, this isn’t a completely new trick. Other companies went on a crypto-buying spree last week, splashing out over $7.8 billion. Honestly, it’s like a bunch of magpies with too much cash. Spot US Bitcoin exchange-traded products, though? They decided to go in the opposite direction, pulling out $812.3 million. So make of *that* what you will. 🤷

Metaplanet’s ‘Grand Plan’ (And By Grand, I Mean Slightly Ambitious)

Metaplanet insists they’re “focused” on their Bitcoin goal. Which is… accumulating more Bitcoin, despite everything looking a bit precarious economically. They’re 8.4% of the way towards owning 210,000 Bitcoin – that’s 1% of all Bitcoin ever created – by 2027. It’s a bit like deciding you’re going to run a marathon when you haven’t left the sofa in six months. Optimistic, to say the least. 😂

Copying Michael Saylor? Seriously?!

And guess what? They’re following Michael Saylor’s strategy. The man who basically lives and breathes Bitcoin. Metaplanet is issuing about $3.73 billion worth of perpetual preferred shares – a rather complicated financial instrument that Saylor has used extensively to fund his Bitcoin obsession. He even called one of his offerings the company’s “iPhone moment”. An iPhone moment! You can’t make this stuff up. 🤦‍♀️ It’s like saying your grocery shopping is your “holiday in the Caribbean”.

Apparently, this whole preferred share thing allows companies to get cash for Bitcoin without messing up their regular shares or getting into debt. It sounds… clever. Or terrifying. Possibly both. Metaplanet’s shares will offer a dividend of up to 6%, which, let’s be honest, is more exciting than my current savings account.

The Bitcoin Holding League Table

Metaplanet is currently trailing behind Strategy (aka Saylor’s empire), Mara Holdings, XXI, Bitcoin Standard Treasury Company, Riot Platforms and even…Trump Media. Goodness. 162 companies now hold Bitcoin, which is up from 112 in May. So, everyone’s at it. It’s a Bitcoin free-for-all! 🎉 It’s either very clever investing or a collective delusion. I’m leaning towards the latter, obviously. 😉

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2025-08-04 09:13