Shenanigans Ahoy: Hawaiian CEO and Ex-Wife Get 15 Years for $29M Fraud Fiasco 🎢🚢

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Well, folks, it seems the good ship *Semisub One* wasn’t so much a vessel of innovation as it was a dinghy of deception. Curtis Jackson-CEO extraordinaire-and his ex-wife Jamey Jackson (the former president of this Hawaii-based Titanic wannabe) have been sentenced to a combined 15 years in the clink for swindling investors out of a cool $29 million. Yes, you read that right. Twenty-nine million bucks! That’s enough cash to buy a small island-or at least a really big yacht.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), these two charmers spent years spinning tales about their prototype ship being “weeks” or “months” away from setting sail. Spoiler alert: it never did. Instead, they treated themselves to drugs, psychics, mansions, and luxury cars. Because apparently, when life gives you lemons, you trade them for Bentleys. 🚗🤑

But wait, there’s more! During the investigation, Curtis decided to get creative and threatened his ex-wife with a clip from *The Sopranos*, titled “Death to FBI Informants.” Classy move, Curtiss. Real classy. It’s almost like he thought he was starring in his own mob drama instead of orchestrating what can only be described as a financial soap opera. 🎥🔥

In May 2024, Curtis got slapped with convictions for securities fraud, conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud, witness tampering, and obstructing justice-all while on pretrial release. Meanwhile, Jamey pleaded guilty back in January 2023 to conspiracy to commit mail fraud and wire fraud. For his starring role in this saga, Curtis earned himself a 13-year vacation behind bars, while Jamey scored a modest two-year stay. Lucky her!

So here we are, dear reader, marveling at the absurdity of human folly. If nothing else, this story proves that if you’re going to lie, cheat, and steal, maybe don’t do it with such flair-or incriminating video evidence. 😅⚓

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2025-08-07 21:42