Okay, so this PENGU thing… honestly, another memecoin? 🙄 It’s up 13%, apparently. Thirteen percent! Like, that’s…a number. I once waited 13 minutes for a pastrami on rye. Wasn’t worth it. But apparently, *this* is worth something. It “broke key resistance.” What does that even *mean*? It resisted, and then it…broke? Sounds exhausting.
They’re saying it’s outperforming Bitcoin and Ethereum. Of course it is. Because everything these days out-performs Bitcoin. It’s just…showing off at this point.
Right now, it’s at $0.0372. Which, let’s be real, is still basically nothing. But it was up 13% yesterday. So, progress, I guess? 🤔 The trading volume jumped 60%. Sixty percent! People are really getting excited about digital penguins. I need a new hobby.
Some “expert” on X – formerly known as Twitter, because everything *has* to be rebranded, don’t you think? – is predicting $0.041. $0.041! Like that’s a life-changing amount of money. I once found $0.041 in a parking meter, and it barely covered the bus fare.
On-chain metrics… whatever those are
Apparently, investors are withdrawing tokens from exchanges. Which…translates to…they’re holding onto them? What else are they gonna *do* with them? Use them to buy digital fish? 🐟 And there’s talk of “buying pressure.” It’s like they’re trying to make it sound complicated.
There’s a lot of “long position” talk. Long position, short position, could we *please* just call it what it is? This is giving me anxiety. Apparently, people are betting the price will go *up*. Groundbreaking.
But watch out! There are “key liquidation levels.” Which sounds ominous. Like if it dips too much, someone’s gonna be in trouble. You know, real people with real money. It’s a whole thing. They’ve built $7.67 million worth of long positions. Seven million?! What are they thinking?
Basically, the “bulls” – people who think the price will go up – are winning. Which, honestly, they always are. It’s rigged, I tell ya, *rigged*!
Technical analysis. Oh, joy.
“AMBCrypto’s technical analysis” (who *are* these people?) says it’s “bullish.” Of course it is. It’s always bullish until it’s not. It’s broken out of a “falling wedge pattern.” Sounds painful.
If it stays above $0.0365, it *might* hit $0.0464. *Might*. See, that’s the key word. “Might.” Don’t go selling your house yet. And the “Supertrend” indicator is green. Green! So positive. Maybe I *should* buy some… No. Bad Larry. Don’t do it. 🙅♂️
This whole thing is just…a mess. A beautiful, chaotic, digital penguin mess. But still a mess.
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2025-08-08 08:11