Alright, so Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam Technical University-AKTU, because who has time for full names?-is jumping on the blockchain bandwagon to hand out about 50,000 degrees. Because, obviously, paper degrees just weren’t vulnerable enough to forgery. 🙄
Ayush Srivastava, the Assistant Registrar (probably the only guy who actually understands how blockchain works there), says this’ll make everything “tamper-proof” and “decentralized.” Sure, because bureaucracy and decentralization go together like mayo on a hot dog-which is to say, controversially.
Vice Chancellor JP Pandey chimed in with a riveting explanation: “Blockchain makes things secure.” Wow, groundbreaking. Who knew? He also mentioned students can print their degrees whenever they want, which is great-until someone’s printer runs out of ink mid-crisis. 🖨️💀
Pandey then confessed-yes, confessed-that fraud in degree mark sheets happens “often.” Shocking! Who could’ve guessed that people fake qualifications in a country where “trust me, bro” is practically a legal defense?
Oh, and AKTU’s throwing a convocation party with 75 medals. Gold, silver, bronze-because nothing says “higher education” like treating academic achievement like the Olympics. 🏅 Bonus: cash prizes for winners. Because nothing motivates learning like cold, hard cash.
Meanwhile, in “New India”…
Coinbase’s legal honcho Paul Grewal met with some Karnataka IT minister to talk blockchain. Translation: “Hey, wanna partner up so we can all sound smart at conferences?” Grewal even tweeted, “The future is onchain.” Cool. Maybe AKTU can award him an honorary degree in buzzword mastery.
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2025-08-18 11:52