BitMine found itself in the embrace of ARK Invest’s cold, hard clink of capital—a $182 million infusion spread across multiple funds like whiskey poured over a weary gambler’s dreams. It’s the kind of money that makes even the most stoic spreadsheet shiver with possibility.
On July 22, the deal went down: 4.77 million shares traded hands in a block deal smoother than a snake’s grin. BitMine vows to pour every last penny of the $177 million into Ethereum, because apparently, digital gold is the new frontier. Or maybe just the new slot machine.
ARK Invest, ever the cowboy of crypto, now has its spurs jingling louder in the blockchain saloon. Cathie Wood’s crew has bet on Bitcoin, AI, and blockchain before—now Ethereum joins the posse. Tom Lee, BitMine’s chairman and part-time prophet, called it a “validation.” Of course he did. 😏
He compared ARK’s move to their early Tesla and Circle gambles, framing it as a long shot with exponential rewards. Because nothing says “exponential” like a volatile asset that could tank your portfolio faster than a hailstorm in July. 📜💸
BitMine’s Ethereum pivot? More like a full-speed gallop. In June, they rustled up $250 million from a parade of deep-pocketed patrons—Mozayyx, Founders Fund, Kraken, and the like. All of it? Slated for Ethereum staking. Because nothing says “treasury strategy” like betting the farm on a meme coin with a PhD. 💸🏦
As of July 23, BitMine hoards 300,000 ETH—second only to the whales of the digital sea. Corporate wallets now hold 1.87 million ETH, worth a cool $6.9 billion. The Ethereum Foundation? Ousted from its throne by BitMine and SharpLink Gaming. History is written by the winners, or so they hope. 👑🦸♂️
BitMine’s grand plan? Stake 5% of all Ethereum—6 million ETH—while mining in Trinidad and Texas. Because nothing says “sustainability” like energy-efficient mining in a world slowly roasting like a marshmallow. 🌋⚡ They’re betting Ethereum will power the future of finance, stablecoins, and decentralized apps. Or maybe just the next rug pull. 🤹♂️
U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent’s “$2 trillion stablecoin” prophecy? BitMine’s gospel. They’re all in, kids. Either this is genius or the longest con since the invention of the wheel. 🤖💥
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2025-07-23 08:25