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But wait! That’s not all folks! The protocol has been putting on quite the show, with its Total Value Locked (TVL) reaching astonishing all-time highs. Bravo! 👏

His offhand remarks, echoing previous comments on the mercurial Bitcoin, seem to relegate both assets beneath the commodity umbrella. Atkins, ever the erudite, acknowledged Ethereum’s burgeoning influence as a blockchain foundation—a modern necessity as indispensable as a butler at a country house weekend. 🏰

There’s also this ETF business hanging around. People are desperately hoping for a PENGU ETF (an exchange-traded fund, for those not entirely lost in the fog of financial instruments). Canary Capital had a go at it back in March, you know. Like trying to herd cats, but with paperwork.

Fitzo Crypto is out here dreaming big with a $150 target for altseason peaks, all backed by volume that’s actually showing up to the party for once. And CW’s got eyes on that $20.5 resistance—calling it a “sell wall” like it’s Fort Knox. If LINK smashes through, $26 might be on the cards, but let’s not get too excited; it could all fizzle out like a bad date. 😂

Litecoin is pulling a classic “W” move—no, not the one from high school gym class, but a bullish chart pattern that could lead to a breakout brighter than your future! Analysts think LTC may leap 30% or more, eyeing a sweet $130. Who knew that a cryptocurrency could have more ups and downs than your dating life? 😂

“Sell your ether! 😱 Toss it aside like last week’s leftovers!” he proclaimed, his words dripping with the sarcasm of the ages, urging folks to use the found treasures for a grander scheme—buying Bitcoin. This advice rolled off his tongue quicker than a cat chasing after a fallen leaf. “Of course, it’s only the advice of a man who once likened Bitcoin to the tulips of a frantic Dutch market in 1634—an investor’s folly if there ever was one.” 🌷 But here we are! The world has a strange way of twisting the tales of its characters, doesn’t it?

“A jaunty romp to $6,000, followed by a modest retreat to around $4,000, would indeed be the epitome of market elegance, far preferable to a mere correction,” he noted with a wry smile.

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Our protagonist, Polymarket, once a thorn in the side of U.S. regulators, faced the music of a $1.4 million fine in 2022. “What is a betting market without a little dose of controversy?” they must have chuckled as they blocked American users. Yet, the tides have turned! After a rollercoaster ride of FBI raids and dual investigations, the DOJ and CFTC have decided to take a scenic route, officially dropping the case without a single charge—perhaps they were just busy reading the latest tax codes. 😏

In a shocking twist of events, Schiff actually wrote on X—yes, that X, not the cool treasure map type—“As much as it pains me to say, selling Ether and buying Bitcoin with the proceeds is a better trade than holding Ether.” Dramatic much? 🎭