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According to “More Crypto Online,” Dogecoin’s price action is basically a never-ending soap opera since November 2024. The October 10 “flash crash” was the plot twist we didn’t ask for-now the chart is a mystery novel with no ending. But hey, at least the “yellow scenario” allows for one last “push higher”… which is basically a “maybe” in crypto terms.

Last week, Japan gently lifted its key interest rate – from near zero to a paltry 0.75%. Sounds trivial, right? Well, for a country that’s been defying normal monetary gravity for decades, this was like discovering a new planet. The highest interest in nearly 30 years! As if the Bank of Japan had suddenly decided to turn up the heat on what’s been a very chilly monetary stew.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your portfolios! Metaplanet Inc., the Japanese investment firm once dubbed “Asia’s Strategy,” has officially launched its Sponsored Level I ADR program. Trading begins today under the ticker ‘MPJPY,’ because who needs simplicity when you can have a cryptic code? 🤷♂️

But hold your horses – Merlijn The Trader, the guy who probably drinks his coffee with conspiracy theories, says, “Relax, this isn’t a crash, it’s a coil.” Because why just crash when you can coil? It’s like a slinky getting ready to spring back, only less funny and more financially terrifying.

Snyder, the man with the broom, is after Jump Trading, its co-founder William DiSomma, and Kanav Kareiya (yes, the intern-turned-president!). Terra’s Post-Chapter 11 X account gave a nod to the WSJ’s tale on Friday, because who doesn’t love a good gossip session? 🍿

The number of daily memecoin creations jumped to 71k, with 14 million tokens launched, while the number of created addresses surged to 48k, at press time. 71,000 memecoins launched daily? I’m not sure if that’s a record or just a really, really bad day for investors. 🚀💸

This is Ripple’s way of saying, “Hey look, we’re not trying to build another wild exchange or push any new tokens-just quietly helping the big boys stay within the lines.” That’s right, it’s the ‘boring but safe’ approach that’s trending among the cautious big shots.

Coinbase, with its legal eagles in full flight, has swooped down on regulators in Michigan, Illinois, and Connecticut. The crime? Attempting to regulate prediction markets that Coinbase insists are under federal jurisdiction. Federal, mind you! Not some local sheriff’s business. 🕵️‍♂️

Terraform’s obligatory court boss declared war on Jump Trading, accusing them of secretly supporting TerraUSD, pretending it was as steady as a sleepy sloth on a Sunday afternoon, while secretly raking in billions. Yes, billions with a B! 🤑 The grand plan? Make profit from the doom and gloom, and leave small investors with empty pockets and sad faces.

So, Ardoino’s saying Bitcoin is still a secret love child of the stock market – wild, right? People claim it’s uncorrelated, but he says it’s actually tied to capital markets like a jealous ex. Meanwhile, he’s fretting over AI’s seemingly endless moneyspills: data centers, power stations, the whole nine yards! Can’t someone just install a dial-up for these gadgets?