ETH to $10,000? EMJ Capital’s Hilarious Bull Case Explained 🤑

According to Jackson, the market has underestimated the impact of upcoming developments, particularly the anticipated approval of staking for ETH exchange-traded funds (ETFs) by October 2025. He argued that this event, rather than the already-approved ETH ETFs, represents the true catalyst for significant price growth, as it could transform ether into a yield-generating asset attractive to institutional investors. 🏦

Trump to Fed: Cut Rates or Else! 🚨

“I think if Jerome Powell stepped down, it would be a great thing,” Trump told the press on Monday. “I don’t know that he’s going to—but he should. Jerome Powell’s been very bad for our country.” You know, because everything is always someone else’s fault. 🙃 Trump criticized the Federal Reserve for keeping interest rates too high, arguing the U.S. should have the lowest rates in the world. Because, you know, we’re the best, and we deserve the best rates.

Why Metaplanet’s Billion-Dollar Gamble Might Just Make You Question Reality!

While awaiting the delightful affirmation from Fidelity’s mysterious subsidiary, Metaplanet’s grand wizard, Simon Gerovich, hinted at a worldwide frenzy of capital—money fluttering like confetti at an overambitious wedding. Yet, in a rather comical twist, shares dipped over 7% during the vast arena of Asia’s trading floor. 📉

Crypto Comedy: ProShares Unveils the Spectacle Called UXRP ETF

UXRP, ambitious in its aspirations, promises a thrilling 2x daily exposure to XRP futures contracts. Like a tightrope walker juggling flaming torches, it aims to amplify not just gains, but losses as well, based on the comedic drama of short-term XRP performance. Because, really, nothing says excitement like watching your money dance on the edge of a cliff. 🪂

You Won’t Believe What This Crypto Guru Says About Bitcoin’s Future! 💰🚀

With coffee in hand and skepticism in the air, we find ourselves once more in the company of Davinci Jeremie, who seems to have a knack for dropping predictions like they’re hot potatoes. This time, he’s tossing out an astonishing forecast: Bitcoin (BTC), our beloved digital rogue, could possibly soar to half a million dollars by the end of this decade. But, you know, only if the moon aligns just right and someone trades their luck for an ounce of faith.