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Bitcoin’s flock of hopefuls hover about the news like rooks around a granary. President Trump—whose hair is almost as interesting as fiscal policy—looks poised to pick up his pen on July 4, holding forth “One Big Beautiful Bill” (tyrannical capitalization and all). Between tax cuts, defense spending, and debt ceiling hikes, everyone’s rattling the piggy-bank and wondering if inflation is about to become America’s newest folk hobby. Traditionally, that’s like ringing the dinner bell for Bitcoin—if you’re into that sort of thing. 🐖

This Rip Van Winkle of wallets has sent the crypto community into a frenzy. Back in 2011, Bitcoin was more a nerdy experiment than a financial juggernaut, bouncing from less than a dollar (cheaper than a bad cup of coffee) to a dramatic $30—presumably causing at least three people worldwide to high-five awkwardly.

$XRP is forming an inverse head and shoulders pattern, which is just a fancy way of saying it might go up 15% to $2.65. But don’t quote me on that. 🤷‍♂️

The company, founded by two former Canaan executives, has already amassed a tidy sum of $160 million in crypto assets, split between BNB and Bitcoin 📈. One would think investors would be thrilled, but alas, shares of Nano Labs took a 7% tumble following the latest BNB acquisition 📉. It seems some are skeptical about the strategic value of locking up capital in digital assets 🤔.

Crypto analyst Xanrox took to TradingView to share their thoughts on why XRP’s price is headed for a massive downturn 📉. After a 600% rally that brought XRP to new 5-year peaks, it seems the party is over, and the hangover is about to set in 🍻.

Bitcoin’s third date with $110,000 ended in a hard “let’s just be friends.” Bulls officially ghosted by higher prices.

For this seven-day thrill ride, lawmakers plan to dig into three digital asset bills: the CLARITY Act (which sounds reassuringly like a brand of eye drops), the Anti-CBDC Act (a bold stand against terrifying acronyms), and the GENIUS Act (presumably named using the same process as middle school science fair projects).

According to the esteemed soothsayers over at Matrixport—who, I imagine, consult the stars and then look at some spreadsheets or whatever it is they do—if the seasonal antics and capital shuffles cooperate, Bitcoin (BTC) could very well waltz up to $120,000 this month. Yes, my fine fellows, the report states that realized price swings have reached multi-year lows! What does that mean? Simply that the market’s calming down, or maybe it’s just on an extended tea break. ☕

Fidelity’s FBTC ETF, the vanguard of this financial revolution, saw a staggering $237 million daily inflow, cementing its status as the leader in Bitcoin funds. Bitwise’s BITB ETF, not to be outdone, recorded a modest $15.53 million, while Ark’s ARKB ETF followed with a respectable $114 million. Even the Bitcoin Trust (GBTC) by Grayscale, known for its history of redemptions, managed to stabilize with a small inflow of $5.84 million. 🙏

Le noble Bitcoin grimpa de 38% pointus cet illustre hiver 2020, lorsque Sa Majesté Président Trump signa un opulent parchemin de dépenses. Imaginez donc : les marchés, comme des courtisans affamés, dansaient autour de la flambée joyeuse de la dette ! 🎭