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In a chat that could have been titled “Crypto Confessions,” Storm, speaking to Crypto In America, hinted that his legal team would tackle the allegations that he had personally profited from illicit funds through his role at Tornado Cash. But when it came to the big question—would he testify in his own defense?—Storm was as vague as a politician’s promise. 🤷‍♂️

The news broke on June 26, which triggered more popping, fizzing, and hat-throwing among SUI’s loyal fans. The token zipped nearly 15% higher over the last seven days—no sign of putting its feet up yet.

Imagine if DeFi waltzed into a Mayfair club, took one look at the regulated exchanges, and said, “Clear the floor, darlings, I’m here to mingle.” Byreal’s platform is just that—a glorious blend of dear old DeFi openness and the robust liquidity one usually finds guarded by a stern doorman. The inner workings—some mysterious hybrid of Request for Quote and Concentrated Liquidity Market Maker—allow trades swifter and smoother than a gossip in a drawing room. Gasless, price-insensitive, and so impervious to MEV trickery, not even the cleverest cardsharp could cheat the system. Solana underpins it all, dashing off trades with a 200ms quote time, making other blockchains look positively Victorian.

The good folks at the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics released some job data that made Wall Street do a happy dance on Thursday. The economy added a solid 147,000 jobs last month, and the unemployment rate dropped to a cozy 4.1%. Meanwhile, Bitcoin? It barely twitched. But hey, stocks went bananas, especially since the “experts” thought we’d only see 110,000 new jobs and an uptick in unemployment to 4.3%. Guess they were a tad off, eh?

Behold! The picture is clear as the bottom of a wine bottle at the end of a Parisian soirée: the future jangles not between stodgy banks and crypto wizards, but in the miraculous blending of both—like an accountant who secretly loves Molière’s comedies.

The situation combines massive financial resources, political strain, and Elon Musk’s efforts to redefine the future of artificial intelligence.

He conjured up from the archives an interview, a time-capsule with Raoul Pal – imagine a dinner party thrown by fate itself, with Saylor as the impassive winter and Pal as a financial Don Quixote. Pal dubbed the encounter as the lightning that kindled imagination in the year 2020, clarifying the cryptic fever that led company treasurers to whisper Bitcoin, feverishly, into the night.

The financial landscape is fickle—the wind shifting from baguette-profit days to the cacophony of digital gold. Thus, businesses, their eyes bleary with sleepless anticipation, perform a waltz towards Bitcoin’s volatile embrace. Vanadi Coffee, with its six outposts of roasted hope, has secured approval to not just pour coffee but pour capital into crypto. Only time will tell if they’ve brewed fortune or disaster.

Employed as Senior Vice President—and naturally, Director of Purchasing, for the sake of poetic irony—Amy Jo orchestrated an opera of mischief, robbing her own employer of $411,923. One might say she pursued the American dream, except her method involved more “creative accounting” than most dreams require.

Bitvavo CEO Mark Nuvelstijn emerged blinking into the regulatory daylight and solemnly declared,