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Now, these oligarchs of crypto clutch 80% of AAVE’s total supply, their vaults brimming with enough tokens to make a whale blush. Meanwhile, the so-called “whales” (read: greedy sacks of cash) swelled by 66%, their wallets ballooning from 120k to 200k millionaires as retail investors fled like rats from a sinking ship. 🚢🐀

In a galaxy not so far away, crypto exchange Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN) unveiled its master plan to conquer the universe-or at least the global markets. On the fateful day of Jan. 9, 2026, they detailed their epic journey of expanding scale, deeper liquidity, and product innovation that would make even the most seasoned trader go, “Huh? But in a good way.”

On the ninth day of January, in the year 2026, Ripple’s maestro, Brad Garlinghouse, took to the digital stage of X to trumpet the company’s accelerating saga. With a flourish of his quill, he extolled acquisitions, licensing triumphs, and the central role of XRP in this grand narrative of the Internet of Value. 🎭📢

Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin authored a provocative confession: Bitcoin maximalists have been right all along 📝. They saw the biggest threat of crypto in its early days – and it’s not what you think 😏.  

The new Creator Fee Sharing system lets project teams distribute fees to up to 10 different wallets, transfer coin ownership, and revoke update authority. Both creators and Community Takeover (CTO) administrators can now assign specific fee percentages after a token launches through Pump.fun’s web and mobile interfaces. 🎯

Key takeaways (because who has time to read the whole thing?):

In the first 10 days of January alone, investors pulled out $210 million from these ETFs. That’s like losing your firstborn’s college fund but in crypto. 🤯 According to SoSoValue, the segment is inching closer to its third consecutive month of red flags (and red numbers). Previously, the longest bearish streak was two months in 2025-until now. This new streak? Even more devastating. November-December 2025 and January 2026 have already wiped out $4.7 billion in liquidity. Yikes! 🙀

The CLARITY Act, introduced in May 2025 (a year so recent it might as well be yesterday, if yesterday had better internet), has already survived the House of Representatives’ July gauntlet. A bill so landmark it makes the fall of the Berlin Wall seem like a minor plot twist, it now faces the Senate’s discerning gaze. Its mission? To untangle the SEC-CFTC knot, classify assets with the precision of a tax auditor, and hand digital asset markets a compliance roadmap so clear, even a confused parrot could follow it. 🦜

On the daily chart, BTC has broken free from a long, dreary descent only to meet a stern wall near the 95k line. The ascent from 80k came swift as a strike of a hammer, but now it cools, as if the city’s breath has run out after a fever. The price has yet to reclaim the 100-day and 200-day moving averages, which loom around 99k and 106k, like foremen watching from the edge of the workshop. 💼

Bitcoin, that proud monarch of the crypto realm, has tumbled from its year-to-date throne of $94,500 to a mere $90,000. Ethereum and Ripple, its noble courtiers, have also retreated, their luster dimmed. 👑↘️