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In the “Look-Mum-I-Made-It” category, Strive Funds—backed by multitasking maestro Vivek Ramaswamy—nabbed a cool $750 million, all for the noble cause of Bitcoin scheming. Not to be upstaged, TwentyOneCapital waltzed off with $585 million, Securitize grabbed $400 million, and an enthusiastic gaggle of smaller rounds scurried close behind: Kalshi, Auradine, ZenMEV, and Digital Asset, all raising enough to invite awkward calls from their fifth cousins.

Gerovich told the Financial Times that they need to accumulate as much bitcoin as possible to reach “escape velocity” (whatever that means). And then, they’ll use that bitcoin to get financing from banks to buy profitable businesses. Because, you know, banks just love lending money against bitcoin. 🙄

It was not thrust upon Takahashi like an unpalatable broth; no, he seized the idea himself, proclaiming in a tone reminiscent of Napoleon boarding a rowboat for Elba: “My decision to receive my entire compensation in Bitcoin is a clear signal that I am ‘in the same boat’ as our shareholders.” And what a humble little boat it is—adrift on the roaring seas of cryptocurrency volatility!

Just a little while ago, everyone was abuzz with excitement over new app integrations and developer support on the Pi platform 📈. But, as it often does, the market has already factored in this news, and the emotional high from the Pi2Day campaign and ecosystem updates is wearing off 💔. The price action, much like my enthusiasm for this project, is struggling to maintain momentum.

On Monday all seemed fairly serene as far as the long-running saga of US trade deals goes. However, US President Donald Trump put the cat back among the pigeons by announcing that any country that sided with the BRICS nations in deals that were “anti American”, would be hit by a 10% additional tariff.

According to their “10 Year Plan” (because who needs a 5-year plan when you can think big?), this purchase is just another step towards… well, towards accumulating more bitcoin, it seems. The price tag for this latest indulgence? A cool £17,871,846 ($24,352,886), or approximately £78,932 per bitcoin (about $107,726). That’s like buying a small island, but without the sandy beaches and sunny weather. 🌴

Most altcoins, those lesser-known cousins of the crypto world, also found themselves in the red on a daily scale, including some of the more prominent ones, such as HYPE, DOGE, and LINK. It seems the market’s mood swings are as unpredictable as a teenager’s.

But fear not, dear reader, for we’ve got the inside scoop on the hottest presales of the day. Our team of crypto wizards (okay, maybe not wizards, but they’re pretty clever) will guide you through the choppy waters of Bitcoin, Ethereum, and all the other cryptocurrencies that are making waves. 🌟

The funding gala saw esteemed patrons like Animoca Brands and UTXO Management throwing their hats in the ring, along with generous offerings from the crypto elite. Among them, Simon Gerovich, a most intriguing character, who invested as a mere mortal, not the grandiose head of Metaplanet, which is no small fry! 🐟

Now, don’t get too worried. The company still holds a whopping 597,325 Bitcoin, valued at approximately $64.71 billion. But, it seems that even the most dedicated Bitcoin enthusiasts need a break sometimes. And hey, maybe they’re just waiting for the perfect moment to strike again.