qfx

Alas, dear reader, the masses remain skeptical. According to the CME FedWatch Tool, there’s a 91% chance the Fed will opt for a more modest 25 basis point cut. Yet whispers of economic cracks have given JustWakingUp’s audacious bet some airtime. August’s jobs report was lackluster, and revisions revealed the U.S. economy added *911,000 fewer jobs* than initially reported-the largest downward revision in history. One might say the Fed is under pressure to act like a central bank superhero. 🦸‍♂️ (Will they rise to the occasion? Or fumble spectacularly?)

So, here’s the lowdown: Kraken’s EU folks can now swap their euros for a piece of the American pie, trading tokenized U.S. stocks and ETFs like they’re swatting flies. This ain’t just a local shindig – it’s part of a global hoedown, with over 60 tokenized assets already dancing across 140 countries. Yeehaw! 🌎🕺

On the ninth day of September, 2025, the ticker ‘STKE’ shall grace the Nasdaq, a symbol not of virtue, but of velocity. Cryptocurrency analysts, those modern-day prophets on X, have proclaimed this event a “milestone,” as if the Solana ecosystem were a cathedral and Nasdaq its consecrated altar. Alas, the faithful shall now flock to it, their wallets heavy with the weight of misplaced optimism. 🙌

But wait, there’s more! 🥳 They’ve also thrown in a 30,000 USDT early bird bonus, because nothing says “we’re serious about this” like a little extra cash for showing up early. And the best part? It’s all free. Yes, you heard that right. Zero cost. Zilch. Nada. Unless you count the potential emotional trauma of losing in a demo trading phase, but hey, that’s on you. 😬

Tom Emmer, speaking to Breitbart News on Tuesday, accused Gensler of engaging in behavior so questionable it makes you wonder if his middle name is “Cover-Up.” According to Emmer, Gensler wasn’t just being sneaky; he was allegedly orchestrating some kind of masterclass in opacity-a performance so opaque even light struggled to escape its gravitational pull.

The grandeur of the network’s significance was inexplicably magnified following the launch of 21X. This, the first-ever “regulated” platform for tokenized securities in Europe, has managed to rope in financial institutions to the blockchain cosmos by dint of Chainlink’s technology. The approval was under European rules, a not-so-subtle reminder of Kafkaesquely labyrinthine procedures that we, the people, have come to love.

The updated prospectus, filed with the SEC on Tuesday, reveals that the Winklevoss twins (yes, the ones who once tried to sue Mark Zuckerberg) have raised their stock price range to $24-$26. Because nothing says “trust us” like a 40% increase in a market where even a potato might be a better investment. 🥔📉

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• The wise old Federal Reserve is expected to cut rates down by 25-basis point at the September 17 meeting. Do you hear the monetary river flowing? 🚀
• Six stout XRP spot ETF applications eagerly await the SEC’s blessings in October – a roll of the dice for all the formal kiddos out there.
• XRP’s exchange custody balances have reached Everest heights, and some are worrying whether that means a landslide of sellers is imminent, despite recent whale gulps 🐋.
• Analysts see shadows of XRP’s July false start, whispering fables of the $3.00 barricades in stone again.

L’antre de Madame Warren a partagé ces perles exclusivement avec BeInCrypto. Alors que plusieurs démocrates favorables aux cryptos ont dévoilé un cadre large pour leur législation idéale, il est nettement moins détaillé et applicable. 📝