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As the sun lolled indolently on July 6, Aave (AAVE) found itself among the peculiar, the proud, trading hands at $272—a figure inflating 140% since its April doldrums, when the price did its best impersonation of a bored sloth. Market capitalization has accordingly ballooned to $4.1 billion, as daily trading volume frolics north of $250 million, presumably scaring the ghosts out of everyone’s portfolio.

And if that wasn’t enough to make you do a happy dance, Bitcoin’s dominance has shot up to 64%, thanks to CoinMarketCap. 🚀 But what does that mean, you ask? It’s like Bitcoin is the captain of the crypto football team, and everyone else is just trying to get a spot on the bench. 🏈🏆

This marvel, you ask, what hath brought it about? Why, ’tis the unveiling of a most ingenious Golden Visa program, a partnership between The Open Network and the United Arab Emirates, that bastion of progress and innovation in the desert! 🏜️

This recent rebound, which occurred twelve days ago, is now being closely watched as a barometer of bullish continuity. 🔍

As if the GST weren’t enough, Bybit hath also announced the discontinuation of select services, including legacy crypto loans, the Bybit card, and multiple trading bots. Cardholders, take heed! Thou shalt be blocked from new transactions by July 17, and outstanding loans shall be auto-repaid. 🚫

Now, I know what you’re thinkin’: what in tarnation is an “unrealized profit”? Well, it’s like this: it’s the profit you’d make if you sold your Bitcoin right now, but you haven’t sold it yet, so it’s still just a bunch of numbers on a screen. Make sense? 🤔

SharpLink Gaming, born on ice in Minneapolis, crafts its legend in the fog of sport betting. With algorithms sharper than Siberian winters, it lures customers and partners alike, betting not just with odds, but with existential style. If you wondered where all the capital from Russian literature went—look no further than their ETH wallet.

According to rather dramatic research, a staggering 99.8% of stablecoins swirling around European cyberspace are locked arm-in-arm with the greenback. Meanwhile, the euro sulks in the wings, robbed of its rightful stage, as America’s payment systems throw a Gatsby-level party in European finance. The ECB is not amused. Nor is your aunt who still keeps euros in her mattress.

Ted Pillows, a market analyst with a name that sounds suspiciously like a pseudonym, has weighed in on the situation. He claims that historical data shows Bitcoin is yet to reach its peak price for the current market cycle. Because, you know, past performance is always a guarantee of future results… said no one ever. 🙄

The move follows his outspoken criticism of Trump’s recently signed $3.3 trillion Big Beautiful Bill, which Musk has called “insane” and “destructive.” Because apparently, trillion-dollar bills are the new black. 🤑