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Meanwhile, Iran, ever the drama queen, has decided to ditch the group therapy session and opt for a private chat with the US. This move, according to the report, could turn the diplomatic dance into a chaotic tango, with the US military flexing its muscles in the Gulf. Meanwhile, gold-that ancient, unexciting relic-gained 3.5% while Bitcoin slumped, proving that even in a bear market, some assets are more resilient than others.

So, Binance Wallet has rolled out this fancy new Security Center, a Web3 security hub that’s basically the Mary Poppins of crypto protection-practically perfect in every way. It’s got all the tools, real-time monitoring, and educational resources you’ll ever need, all tucked into one neat little interface. Because who doesn’t love a bit of multitasking, especially when it’s keeping your digital fortune safe?

Behold, the Pharos Network, a Layer 1 blockchain aspiring to hoard billions in “real-world assets,” has unveiled its latest spectacle: Native to Pharos. Backed by a modest $10 million, this incubator aims to accelerate innovation in its onchain financial ecosystem. A pittance, perhaps, but enough to lure the starry-eyed dreamers of the Web3 world.

In a lengthy missive, Vitalik declared that the old-timey ways of scaling through those layer-2 contraptions-let’s call them L2s for short-might just need a bit of a rethink. It seems these secondary chains, bless their hearts, have been floundering about trying to meet expectations like a cat in a dog park.

February, with its timid breath, brings whispers of stabilization. The market, once a maelstrom of chaos, now hums with cautious optimism. The Futures Open Interest, once bloated with greed, lies dormant-a clean slate for thy resurrection. And lo, the Coinbase Bitcoin Premium Index surges, a beacon of hope, signaling that the American appetite for thy glory has not waned.

Behold, the CoinDesk 20, that august assembly of digital assets, currently languishes at 2283.41, a modest decline of 0.3% (-6.5) since the hour of 4 p.m. ET on the preceding Monday. One might say it has taken a leisurely stroll downward, unhurried and almost indifferent, like a nobleman feigning disinterest in a matter of great import.

Now, KBank isn’t just playing around with bits and bytes; they’ve been busy trademarking everything under the sun related to digital wallets and stablecoins. Why? Because they’re gearing up for an IPO of their asset management arm-because who doesn’t want to make a splash in the financial pool while wearing floaties?

The job requires someone who understands AI models and how they “intersect” with crypto. Good luck explaining that to a machine that can’t even tell you what a “bull market” is without Googling it. Probably involves feeding it a bunch of Doge memes and hoping it learns emotional intelligence.

Some analysts, those charming harbingers of doom, suggest that the tempest may still be brewing. Imagine, if you will, a price plunge of 75%-a descent so steep it could make a ballerina gasp as she pirouettes into oblivion.

TeraWulf (WULF) rose 11% on Tuesday pre-market after news that the firm acquired two power-heavy industrial sites, more than doubling its energy and computing footprint to 2.8 gigawatts (GW). Who needs sleep when you can just absorb entire states’ electricity grids instead? wink