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The September 8th document, thick enough to wedge open the doors of a provincial inn, lays out a scheme: sellers, buyers, all sorts of hopefuls clutching at the skirts of LINK’s price, with a dash of staking for those feeling particularly daring (or bored with conventional misery). Rest assured, initial trading dances step by step in the medium of cash, with the esteemed Coinbase Custody Trust Company playing custodian-perhaps even with a flourish, though unconfirmed. Let’s not forget: $28 million in Chainlink assets skulking in Grayscale’s ledger, perhaps nervous, perhaps indifferent, as only assets can be. 🏦✨

Merlijn says ETH’s chart has a triple bottom so clear you could bounce a quarter off it. Three times it lands on support, three times buyers step in-kind of like my mother-in-law at a buffet: relentless and not taking “no” for an answer. Sellers? They’re fading faster than disco. Apparently, even the bears are yawning. This setup isn’t just bullish, it’s so confident it could sell Tupperware to my Aunt Sylvia. 🕺

In the last week, XRP broke 7% higher, even as other cryptocurrencies lay crumpled and whimpering on the icy ground. Coinglass, the local commissar of liquidation, reports $9 million in dreams lost, most of them belonging to short-sighted bears (Would Lenin have shorted? One wonders). These dignified pessimists closed $7.4 million in shorts, their optimism executed for the benefit of the state.

According to a Bloomberg report (which, let’s face it, probably had to fact-check itself three times), the family’s net worth now sits at a cool $7.7 billion. Their crypto haul? Rivaling the value of Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower. Because nothing says “stable investment” like digital coins and a golf resort. ⛳💰

As of the first day of September, Binance proudly declares a trove of 608,017 BTC, a treasure that has seen a modest yet significant growth of 2.85%, adding a whopping 16,858 BTC to its coffers since the last month. 🏦✨

On Monday, Nasdaq filed a request with the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), asking for a rule change that would let them list tokenized stocks. Yes, you heard that right-stocks, but with a digital twist! 🕶️💻

XRP hovers at $2.88, a moth stubbornly orbiting a flame it swore would never burn it. After dipping to $2.70 in September’s gloom, it’s clawed back 2% in 24 hours-a feat that might be called “resilience” if the word hadn’t been buried under years of crypto hype. Traders, ever the optimists, sip their coffee and murmur about “bullish sentiment,” as if sentiment alone could defy gravity.

Sure, you could play it safe with BTC, ETH, and SOL (boring, but wise). But where’s the fun in that? Why not sprinkle some spice into your portfolio with the hottest crypto presales? These tokens are like the ugly ducklings of the crypto world-cheap now, but potentially swans later. 🦢✨

At the time of this oh-so-important update, XRP’s trading volume has soared to a jaw-dropping $4.94 billion, a 144.62% leap, darling. This, naturally, coincides with the asset’s price clinging to the $2.84 support level like a socialite to her pearls. How très chic! 🎀

As the digital asset race heats up, Asia – yes, Asia, always in the fast lane – is making its move to take the global stage by storm. Think of it as the crypto version of the Dragon Dance – swift, powerful, and slightly ominous. 🐉