Ethereum Frenzy!

They bought 19,683 ETH. Let that sink in. Nineteen thousand, six hundred and eighty-three. I can barely keep track of my socks. The press release – oh, the press releases! – droned on about “deepening exposure” and “long-term strategy.” It’s always a long-term strategy, isn’t it? Like saving for retirement when you’re currently living off ramen noodles and the occasional inheritance check. 🍜

Thumzup’s Crypto Gambit: $250M Bet on Digital Gold! 💰🚀

Thumzup Media Corporation (Nasdaq: TZUP) has received board approval to hold up to $250 million in digital assets. The approved cryptocurrencies include bitcoin, ether, solana, ripple, dogecoin, litecoin, and the stablecoin USDC. A curated collection of the sacred cows of the digital age, no doubt.

El Salvador’s Bitcoin Shenanigans Exposed

The IMF was all like, “Hold up, guys, your Bitcoin balance is still the same 🤔,” despite El Salvador’s Bitcoin Office being all, “We’re buying BTC daily, y’all! 📈” The discrepancies in their wallet reserves are just a result of some creative accounting 🎨, not actual Bitcoin purchases.

Bitcoin Miners Laugh All the Way to the Bank—But Only If They Have the Right Rigs! 🤑

Bitcoin mining rigs are generating noticeably more value than they were just a month ago. Back then, the spot price for 1 petahash per second (PH/s) was $53.20—today, it’s clocking in at $60.49, marking a 13.7% jump in just 30 days. At an operating expense (OPEX) of $0.06 per kilowatt hour (kWh) and given today’s difficulty levels, the reigning king of ASIC miners is Bitmain’s Antminer S21e XP Hydro 3U, cranking out an impressive 860 terahash per second (TH/s).

Bitcoin’s Trillion Dollar Secret 🤫

But amidst this financial ballet, some fascinating data has emerged from the depths of CryptoQuant. Brace yourselves, comrades, because Bitcoin’s Realised Cap – a fancy way of saying the total value of all coins based on their last sale price – has hit a new all-time high. A trillion dollars, folks. A TRILLION. 🤯

Shocking XRP Open Interest Soars Past $10 Billion! What Does This Mean for Prices? 🤔🚀

As chronicled by the brave scribes at Coinglass, the Open Interest in XRP futures has not merely ticked upwards; it has erupted like an overzealous volcano, now plumbing the depths of $10.49 billion. Traders have flocked like moths to a flame, pouring their treasures into the derivatives roulette! And let us not forget Captain Redbeard—yes, you heard that right—who heroically reported this triumphant surge on that micro-blog where thoughts fly like confetti.