Ethereum: Is This It? 📉

This analyst, Melikatrader – lovely name, very chic – reckons there’s a ‘structure of recovery’ happening. Which basically means it dipped down to $3,700 to see if anyone cared (a ‘liquidity sweep’, apparently – so polite), and now might bob back up. It’s consolidating between $3,700 and $3,800, because even crypto needs a little thinking time. If the ‘bulls’, whatever they are, can hold things together, it could go to $4,080 – $4,180. But – and this is a big ‘but’ – it’s still looking a bit grumpy. If it hits $4,100 and gets a firm ‘no’ from the bears, it’s back down the rabbit hole.

Gemini Wants to Bet With You!

So, Gemini, the crypto exchange founded by those guys who looked really determined in The Social Network (but for Bitcoin), is trying to get into… betting? Apparently, trading Dogecoin wasn’t enough of a gamble for them. They want to launch “regulated prediction markets,” which I think is a fancy way of saying “people will put money on whether it will rain on Tuesday.” ☔️

BTC to the Moon? Experts Predict Wild Ride! 🚀

Bitcoin, that peculiar obsession of the modern age, continues to vex and fascinate. It climbs, it crashes, and the debates rage on. Having briefly grazed the heavens, the price has experienced a, shall we say, correction. Despite this, our two prophets, Saylor and Kiyosaki, step forward, radiating an almost unsettling level of conviction. They believe the cryptocurrency will, naturally, continue its ascent. New peaks are, of course, inevitable.

North Korea’s Crypto Cash Caper: U.S. Cracks Down… Sort Of 🚨💸

The Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) has now slapped sanctions on eight individuals and two entities, including a Korean firm named KMCTC, which sounds suspiciously like a tech startup but is actually a front for hiding crypto. John K. Hurley, Under Secretary for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence, probably said something serious like, “Hackers fund nukes,” while sipping a $20 matcha latte. Meanwhile, OFAC updated the Specially Designated Nationals List with cryptocurrency addresses tied to North Korea’s First Credit Bank. Because nothing says “financial transparency” like a bank named “First Credit.”

Bitcoin Miners Are Diving Into AI: Who Knew Power Could Be So Sexy?

Lucky Texas! The geniuses at CleanSpark snagged a whopping 271 acres near Houston, securing a monstrous 285 megawatts of long-term power-perfect for a dedicated AI data center that’s only slightly less ambitious than building a spaceship. Because diversifying is just what everyone does when they’re bored of making money from just Bitcoin, right? 🚀