qfx As the cryptocurrency exchange Bitget anoints Stauber its European chieftain, the stage is set for a dramatic act of regulatory compliance. The appointment, announced with the pomp of a royal decree, signals Bitget’s intent to waltz through the European Union’s Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation (MiCA) with grace and precision.
Reece Merrick, Ripple’s MENA Director, outlined five key things the platform aims to do. Here’s the Tina Fey-ed version.
So, what’s in this shiny new law? Well, stablecoin issuers now need a cool 5 billion won (roughly $3.5 million) to play in the sandbox. That’s the same as electronic money businesses, because why not? Rep. Ahn Do-geol, the task force secretary, spilled the tea in a press briefing, sounding like he’d rather be at a K-pop concert. “We agreed to set the legal capital requirement for stablecoin issuers at least 5 billion won,” he said, probably while checking his watch.
In his latest masterpiece, aptly titled “Woomph” (because why not?), Hayes paints a picture of the yen and Japanese government bonds having a full-blown meltdown. “The markets went woomph,” he writes, which is financial jargon for “shit hit the fan.” And now, we’re all waiting for the Fed to step in with its money printer, because apparently, that’s the only way Bitcoin can break out of its sideways sulk.
The consensus amongst the betting men is that rates will remain resolutely unmoved, a staggering 97% wagering on stasis. There’s a spot of bother brewing amongst the policy wonks, mind you. Some favour a tweak downwards, to help chaps borrow a bit easier, whilst others, rather sternly, point to the lingering spectre of inflation and the generally robust American economy. A bit of a pickle, really.
The Bitcoin mining network, usually as reliable as a British queue, collapsed like a poorly built snowman over the weekend. The hashrate plummeted to a seven-month low, leaving crypto enthusiasts colder than a penguin’s toes.
So, Anthropic, the San Francisco-based brain trust behind the AI chatbot Claude, is raking in $20 billion from venture capitalists and other deep-pocketed dreamers, according to the Financial Times. This deal values the company at $350 billion, which is roughly the GDP of a small country, or the cost of a really nice sandwich in San Francisco.
Ah, gold! That eternal refuge of the cautious, rose 1.4% to $5,080 an ounce, its seventh consecutive day of triumph. One might say it is the only guest at this party who remembers to bring a gift, while Bitcoin sulks in the corner, nursing its wounds.
Over the weekend, the gears of politics churned slower than a broken tractor, yet somehow, progress was made. Democrats, in a rare moment of unity, have agreed to keep their objections to themselves during the markup sessions on January 29. It’s like watching a barn dance where everyone’s too tired to step on each other’s toes.
In a move that could only be described as fabulously audacious, VanEck has launched the VanEck Avalanche ETF, which is rather like giving the green light for all those eager investors in the U.S. to frolic in the regulated playground of AVAX crypto. This splendid ETF doesn’t just sit there; it integrates staking rewards into its Net Asset Value, allowing investors to sip on passive yields while they dance through the scalable blockchain universe of Avalanche. It seems everyone wants to join this grand fiesta of regulated investing!