qfx As Tuesday’s chill closed in, Lookonchain, they say, first whispered over the data-net of the burn. A grand conflagration for 47 million WLFI tokens, with no hope they’d see public market waters again. Released into the wild as a brand-new critter, the token dashed with blithe afterthoughts of immortality and dollar signs since Monday, hitting a sky-high peak of $0.331.
In a move that screams “transparency,” the foundation will sell this ether via centralized exchanges, “in smaller orders” to avoid “market disruption.” How charming! It’s as if they’re trying to sneak a loaf of bread into a bakery without the baker noticing. 🥖
On September 2, a high-net-worth user-let’s call him Comrade Careless-approved a malicious transaction, surrendering wrapped Bitcoin (BTCB), vUSDT, vUSDC, vXRP, and vETH to digital bandits. Security firms initially hyperventilated about $27 million in losses before remembering that debt exists. The irony? The protocol itself was unharmed. The exploit was purely human-proof that even in DeFi, the weakest link remains the fleshy creature behind the keyboard.
On a day as ordinary as any weekday, Jean Tirole let slip the grave concerns gripping his brain over the wild west of stablecoin oversight, vehemently insisting he was “very, very worried”-as if anyone could doubt it. Lest we forget, these digital ephemera are the modern-day, glitch-prone, “perfectly safe deposit” for retail traders. Meanwhile, the revered professor at the Toulouse School of Economics shakes his head, envisioning governments being jerked into “multibillion-dollar bailouts” if these digital apparitions become unruly in a future calamity.
Expert Paul Barron, with the assurance of a seasoned ringside commentator, narrates a spectacle worthy of a carnival barker, where approval of spot crypto ETFs, legislative efforts, favorable banking partnerships, and the right strokes of luck converge in a celestial alignment, potentially fanning the embers of XRP’s ascent. In his whimsical musings, he suggests an elevation “upwards of $50 and beyond.” In hushed tones, one may even hear the siren’s call of triple digits. Barron wittily notes, even if fate demands a cruel correction, the arithmetic would remain deliciously abstruse. “Should XRP gallivant to $75, only to halve in a graceful duet, you’re left with $37. Compare this to today’s humble $3. It’s a tenfold bounty, even in retreat!”
Key Support levels: $0.77, $0.70 – because nothing says “hope” like a 70-cent drop.
Ah, Mike Cagney, the fellow who helped build SoFi. Now he’s back, building…more things with other people’s money! Figure Technologies, his latest creation, apparently believes it’s worth a staggering $4.13 billion. The SEC filings say so. Who are we to argue with official paperwork crafted by expensive lawyers? 🤷♀️
So, Gemini plans to offer a hefty chunk of shares-16.67 million of them, priced between $17 and $19, under the oh-so-catchy ticker “GEMI”. They’re aiming to scoop up around $317 million if everything goes perfectly. Marvelous timing, as US markets are buzzing with activity again-Circle (CRCL) and Bullish (BLSH) just dipped their toes into the public pond, and everyone’s acting like it’s the hottest thing since sliced bread.
So, here’s the tea: Pump.fun [PUMP] rallied 12.09%, hitting a 2-week high of $0.00386 after stubbornly holding onto support at $0.0032. At press time, it retraced slightly to $0.003743. But wait, there’s more! Volume surged 76% to $290 million. That’s right, folks-someone out there is clearly very invested in this digital confetti. 🎉💸
According to that witty analyst on X, AmBitcoin, OP has found itself a cozy range between $0.6172 and $0.6767. Repeated tests suggest this is the fort that buyers are lining up for, like children in a line for ice cream. As long as it stays above this base camp, our hopes soar high-bright enough to make even the most hardened skeptic shed a tear of joy (or laughter). The chances of a breakout? Higher than a goose in a rocket.
