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Last week, Bitcoin was the star of a tragicomic opera, descending precipitously to a humiliating $112K on Saturday — as if it had suddenly remembered it’s only a digital asset and not a superhero. But behold, like a stubborn mule, it hauled itself back during those glamorous pre-trading hours on Monday, flirting with $115K again. The macroeconomic melodrama was nothing short of theatrical: strong GDP numbers tried to impress, only to be overshadowed by a jobs report that made everyone yawn. Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve, keeping its poker face, stayed put in the 4.25-4.50% range — perhaps worried about what the Trump administration might do next, or maybe just bored of playing the same hand. Naturally, BTC took a nosedive after Jerome Powell’s Wednesday speech, because who doesn’t love a good plot twist?

80%? The SEC must be on a coffee kick. ☕

Though major crypto assets have shown but modest performance today, smaller altcoins may still dazzle with their meteoric rises. On Monday, August 4, MYX Finance (MYX), a decentralized exchange token, reached an all-time high of $0.3664, after rising more than 200% in a single day. Thanks to the rally, the token’s market cap reached an ATH of $49 million. A most remarkable feat, though one wonders if it be sustained. 🎩

August rolls in, promising to keep this rollercoaster going, and the scramble begins anew—who’s the next big thing? The crypto world’s new version of treasure hunting, only with more memes and less map. 🗺️

Galaxy Research радостно рапортовал: нате вам, почти 792,000 биткоинов (так, на всякий случай — это примерно $93 млрд), и кучка скромных 1,31 млн ETH (ещё жалкие $4 млрд), теперь уютно живут у нового клана — Digital Asset Treasury Companies. Да-да, это — DATCOs. Как гномы в романе, они старательно копят крошки токенов, надувая щёки от будущей важности.

Signs of a market top! 😱

Meanwhile, amidst the froth, a token called $SUBBD has quietly amassed almost a million dollars during its presale—because nothing says ‘serious money’ like AI‑backed creator economy tokens. Who wouldn’t want to own a slice of tomorrow’s influencer pie? 🥧

In a speech that Bernstein’s analysts hailed as “bolder than a Bolshevik manifesto”, SEC Chairman Paul Atkins unveiled ‘Project Crypto’—a sweeping initiative to modernize the nation’s archaic securities laws for the digital age. 📜🚀

He took to Twitter recently, a brave man in these volatile days, and suggested that if you’re dithering about buying Bitcoin, you might find its value has shot off to “zero…point five million.” Quite the dramatic flair, isn’t it? Not to worry, he assured us that this “zero” isn’t exactly the kind that causes a gentleman to faint into his whisky, but more like a new, avant-garde Zero—perhaps the kind you haven’t seen before, with a dash of piquant peculiarity. Or at least, that’s the way I see it.

Titled ‘Banking on Digital Assets: How Traditional Finance is Investing in Blockchain,’ this report spills the beans on a staggering $100B invested in blockchain firms between 2020 and 2024. Over 10,000 deals, mind you. And who’s leading the charge? The usual suspects: Citigroup, JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, and Japan’s SBI Group. These titans aren’t just dipping their toes—they’re diving headfirst, with 33 investments topping $100M each. 🏦💸