qfx

In a plot twist worthy of a prison sitcom, Paul Chowles, a National Crime Agency hero, took a bold step — he swiped 50 Bitcoin from a seized wallet connected to a shady character named Thomas White, the Silk Road 2.0 mastermind. You know, just a casual day at the office. Or so he thought. 😎💸

On Solana’s vast and stormy plain, the once-proud Pump.fun (known to his friends as PUMP) found his market share scattering like last year’s snow. On the fateful Friday of August 1st (which no one will soon forget, despite trying), PUMP’s price stooped from $0.00309 to a pitiful $0.002495. There was a flicker of hope—always a dangerous thing—as it crawled back to $0.0028. But such hope is often the prelude to a longer sigh.

This Japanese outfit already holds 17,132 BTC (as of July 31, 2025). But no, that’s not good enough. They’re looking for flexible financing options to turbocharge their initial strategy from January. Oh, and guess what? They’ve called an extraordinary general meeting for September 1, 2025, to amend their Articles of Incorporation. Because nothing screams “extraordinary” like changing corporate rules to hoard more crypto. 🤷‍♂️

According to the Directorate General of Taxes (who knew such a title existed?), Indonesia’s crypto tax revenue has been bouncing between Rp500 billion ($31.25 million) and Rp600 billion ($36.40 million). And here’s the kicker: back in 2022, when they first started this little experiment, they were only pulling in a measly $15 billion annually. Measly, I say! Though there was a slight dip along the way—because life loves irony—the numbers have surged again, reaching as high as $37.98 billion last year. Bravo, Indonesia. Truly, you’ve mastered the art of taxing digital dreams. 🎩✨

//crypto.news/app/uploads/2025/08/GxM_2XfWoAEiIi9.jpeg”/>

Institutional adoption? Check. Regulatory clarity? Check. Technical momentum? Double-check! These bad boys are ready to break out and steal the show. 🎭🎉

Monsieur Elkaleh observes—with the exasperation of an art critic forced to review a paint-by-numbers—that Ethereum, once the darling of dilettante developers and messianic programmers, now lurches through Wall Street’s echoing halls as a mere flicker on a Bloomberg terminal. Billions course into ETFs like overzealous salmon, but our digital Prometheus is riskily poised to become another “digital gold”—shiny, untouchable, and about as thrilling as a spreadsheet convention.

But Schwartz, ever the charming raconteur, stepped forward with the suavest of smiles to clarify: “Not so fast, monsieur! This is less ‘Hate, Hate, Hate’ and more ‘Legal Risks, Risks, Risks.’” Because apparently, in crypto land, love is complicated and so is law. And thus begins our tale.

Now, the analyst—who’s probably got more charts than a New England weather vane—says XRP’s monthly chart shows signs of breakin’ out like a jackrabbit from a hat. It’s done done climbed above the high it hit back in 2018, which means, according to him, it’s got room to run. His rough estimate? Well, he reckons it might move from its current spot—about $2.92—up to a range between $8.70 and $15, just based on history and the way momentum’s been building. He says, “If we just follow the last move’s pattern, $15 isn’t out of the question—no sir.”

En vérité, nos chers investisseurs, tout comme des amoureux éperdus, ont décidé de jouer leur va-tout. Deux petites semaines et demie, et c’est près de 946 millions de XRP — oui, vous avez bien entendu — pour plus de 2,86 milliards de dollars, qui furent vendus et… déposés dans le coffre-fort des banques d’échange. Bravo! On fête la déprime ou la prudence? Peu importe, car notre capitaine, ce cher Alexis Sirkia, de la Yellow Network, assure que cette purge n’est qu’un passage, une passade! 🤡