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The plot thickens around August — no, it’s not the release date of the next sci-fi blockbuster, but a crucial date when both sides might just decide that enough is enough and call it quits. Think of it as the final episode of a series where everyone agrees it’s time to turn off the TV and get on with their lives, or at least pretend they are. If both parties kick the can, the world of XRP and Ripple could finally breathe a sigh of relief while the lawyers count their cash. 💼💸

Some say the waves—those mythical Elliott ones—signal the end of correction, as if mathematics could bracket the chaos of capital. The moment, at least, is one of equilibrium: indicators, like guards on a midnight round, are neutral. Still, the price hovers above $1, clutching at its dignity, daring fate to knock again.

The implications are nothing to sneeze at (though my hay fever disagrees). Soon, traders will be able to toss native USDC about for their perpetual positions or as a settlement asset, presumably with the nonchalance of a duke flipping a coin to his butler. No launch date—they’re savouring the suspense—but even mere whispers sent HYPE token up 3%. Someone’s getting a new yacht, or at least a fancier cup of coffee. ☕🚀

Back in 2024, Coinbase threw a baseball bat at the SEC and the FDIC, saying they’re trying to choke out crypto companies. Operation Chokepoint 2.0—sounds fun, huh? Like they’re playing Monopoly but with regulations and no money, just threat. 🎲

For the past two weeks, Bitcoin dominance (BTC.D) has done a neat little bounce routine off 60%. Meanwhile, Ethereum [ETH] just sat calmly above $3,800, like it’s meditating or doing the crypto equivalent of a Pilates plank. Two green weekly candles in a row. Is this courage? Confidence? Or sheer laziness?

The price of Cardano (ADA) has fallen by 2.43% since yesterday. A tragedy of epic proportions, one might say, as if the coin itself has taken a solemn vow of silence, refusing to speak in the language of gains. 😢

The crypto darling has been lounging just above the $3 mark, which—let’s be honest—has about as much grip as a soggy paper towel. Now, a new pattern is emerging, or at least pretending to: a double bottom, because who doesn’t love a good picture of stability? This setup suggests bulls might finally be rolling up their sleeves and charging ahead—if history is anything like Twitter predictions, that is.

Picture Ethereum charging ahead past a modest $3,800, fueled not by fairy dust but by a tsunami of interest in spot ETH ETFs, record inflows from the mighty institutions, and some technical magic that suggests a monster move is brewing. According to the wise analyst Ali Martinez (@ali_charts, who probably sleeps with charts under his pillow), Ethereum might flirt with $4,220—and if it’s feeling particularly adventurous—hit $5,140—mind you, if the sacred support at $3,300 holds firm. The MVRV Pricing Bands are whispering secrets that only cryptic prophets can decipher. 🧙‍♂️

This trust, they say, is a “simple investment vehicle.” Simple, indeed, like a Chekhovian character’s motivations—opaque yet somehow compelling. 🧪 Grayscale, ever the visionary, continues its march beyond “traditional assets,” as if tradition were a shackle and not a foundation. 🏛️→🚀 Will this new venture flourish, or shall it join the chorus of forgotten crypto experiments? Only time, that relentless critic, will tell. 🕰️

So this guy, Merlijn The Trader (yes, he sounds like a medieval knight), decided to hop on X (formerly Twitter) and drop some knowledge bombs about something called a “MACD crossover.” Apparently, this magical crossover happens right before altcoins decide to moon. It happened in 2017, then again in 2020, and even earlier this year in 2024. And now, guess what? Another bullish crossover just showed up in July. 🎉 Cue the confetti!