qfx

The fine folks behind USD Coin (USDC) have decided to join forces with none other than Mastercard and Finastra, which sounds like a wizarding trio but is actually just a bunch of financial wizards. They’re on a mission to shove stablecoins into the global payments system like a particularly stubborn cork into a bottle of cheap wine.

XRP’s future still looks pretty shiny, with predictions showing it could blast through a $20 mark, says the expert with a crystal ball, aka the analyst.

Ah, the Trump administration-a master of turning currency into a geopolitical chessboard. The Brazilian government, never one to shy away from a good verbal sparring match, has labeled this practice as both absurd and perilous. Fernando Haddad, ever the eloquent orator, recently graced a TV interview with UOL, where he mused on the future of the dollar. “It will remain the world’s reserve currency,” he said, “unless, of course, the U.S. continues to make mistakes with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop.” 🐂

On Wednesday, ARK Invest’s three funds-ARKK, ARKW, and ARKF-showed their undying affection for Bitmine. ARKK bought 227,569 shares, ARKW swooned over 70,991 shares, and ARKF couldn’t resist 40,553 more shares. Talk about commitment! 💍

The altcoin has clawed its way back, reclaiming ground like a stubborn mule. It’s been shuffling sideways, caught between $2.85 and $3.10, as if stuck in a never-ending hoedown. The market’s recent tantrum sent it retesting the lows, but it held firm, like a barn door in a storm. Then, a 7% surge to $3.08-only to stumble back to $3.00. Progress? Or just a drunk man’s walk? 🕺

According to Blockchair, Ethereum’s circulating supply has flatlined since its transition to proof-of-stake (PoS), hovering around 120 million ETH-currently sitting at a cool 121,009,974, per Ultrasound Money. That’s right, folks, the network added +17,877.70 ETH in just seven days. Meanwhile, about 18,652.30 ETH was issued, but don’t worry-they burned 774.60 ETH to keep things “balanced.” Annualized growth rate? A modest +0.771%. So basically, we’re printing money slower than your grandma knits socks. 🧦

The technical picture is as clear as mud, but let me try to decipher it for you. The 200-day EMA at $2.49 is like a comfy couch providing deep support, while the 100-day EMA at $2.76 is the armrest keeping XRP from falling off the edge. But here’s the kicker: every time XRP tries to get back to $3.20, it’s like trying to get a cat to walk on a tightrope – it just doesn’t happen. The RSI is neutral at 48, which means we could see more declines. If XRP closes below $2.90, it might as well throw in the towel and join a clown college. 🤡

Hines predicts by New Year’s Eve, the administration will pop the champagne on two big wins: the GENIUS Act (because stablecoins needed rules, duh) and the BITCOIN Act, which will turn the U.S. into a Bitcoin hoarder. Move over, gold reserves-there’s a new shiny thing in town. ✨

But let us not get too carried away. According to the ever-optimistic Lark Davis, Solana has been like a persistent suitor at the door of $205, only to be turned away three times. Yet, the resilience of this digital darling, marked by higher lows and a steady stream of buyers, suggests that perhaps, just perhaps, this time might be different. 🤞

The storied saga of Vine Coin [VINE] continues: after August’s impromptu plunge-a riveting 60% nosedive-the coin now reclines above $0.05, nursing wounds and possibly questioning life choices. It’s as if July’s +300% victory had never happened, except maybe in feverish dreams and telegram chats.