qfx 
On the 7th of July, a date destined for the footnotes of investor smugness, TIA rebelled against its past, climbing 12% and glancing coyly at $1.67 as the clock struck press time. Traders, naturally, swarmed like hungry peasants to a bakehouse, and so trading volume multiplied by 170%—a surge inspiring both suspicion and fevered optimism.
This address, a veritable treasure trove, held a modest 900 ETH, which, back in the misty days of 2015, was worth a mere $279. Yes, you read that right. ETH was trading for mere pennies, like the price of a second-hand teacup at a village fete. Fast forward to the present, and the same 900 ETH is now worth a staggering $2.27 million. One can only imagine the look on the owner’s face when they checked their balance—probably a mix of shock, joy, and a sudden urge to buy a yacht. 🛥️
Thanks to this shocking performance (or lack thereof), on-chain data reveals that a whopping chunk of SHIB holders are currently swimming in the deep end of unrealized losses. Imagine a pool party, only everyone forgot their bathing suits and are panicking. What on earth does this mean for our dear investors? 👀
In June, CleanSpark’s operational hashrate soared to a staggering 50 EH/s, up from 20.4 EH/s a year earlier, marking a 145.1% leap in mining capacity. This is no small feat, especially considering the current climate. Last month, the company mined 685 BTC, worth a cool $74.2 million at current prices, compared to 445 BTC mined in June 2024. EH/s, for the uninitiated, stands for exa hash per second, a measurement of computational power that might as well be the digital equivalent of a superpower. 🦸♂️
What’s causing this? Congress, in all their infinite wisdom, just slapped a $5 trillion debt ceiling increase on us. Five. Trillion. You know, just a casual cosmic-sized IOU. Now the Treasury is about to go ham refilling their big piggy bank at the Fed—the Treasury General Account. They’ve been draining it to juice up the system, and now, surprise, they’re gonna suck it dry again. Did anyone even ask if we wanted that?
As of today, FUNToken is trading at a modest $0.0100, with a 24-hour trading volume that’s not too shabby at $12 million. The market cap? A cool $110 million. These numbers might not make you jump out of your chair, but they do suggest that FUNToken isn’t just a flash in the pan. The community is growing, and the quarterly updates keep the excitement alive. It’s like a well-maintained garden, where the flowers are blooming, and the weeds are kept at bay. 🌸🌱
On that fateful Monday of July 7, Ripple (XRP) was holding its breath at a regal $2.20—a half-hearted cheer for a price that, despite being 22% above the dismal depths of June, feels a bit like being the tallest kid in kindergarten. 😒
In a recent post on the X social media network, CZ urged potential investors to avoid the nascent asset class if their goal is to get rich quick. “If you want to get rich quick, don’t touch (and blame) crypto,” he told his 10 million followers.
Once more, Bitcoin flirts with the tantalizing specter of its all-time highs, as the illustrious Merlijn The Trader, a soothsayer of our times, unfolded a tapestry of technical charts on social media. He proclaims — with bravado akin to that of a town crier — that Bitcoin has embarked upon its third glorious parabolic phase, setting its course for dizzying heights, perhaps even in the unpredictable year of 2025.
Meanwhile, in a most unfortunate turn of events, shares of Tesla have sunk a staggering 7.2% as the feud between Elon Musk and President Trump reaches new heights 🚀. The tech CEO, never one to shy away from controversy, has announced the creation of the “America Party”, a new political party designed to take on the President and the Republicans 🎉.
