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Apparently, the goal is to “clarify” how retail crypto trading can tango with leverage, margin, or financing under current laws. 🕺 Because, you know, nothing says “clarity” like adding more jargon to an already confusing space. But hey, at least they’re trying, right? Maybe now Grandma can finally understand her grandkid’s NFT obsession without needing a PhD in blockchain. 👵💻

And if you think that isn’t enough Drama™ for your day, a lucky trader basically turned a tiny investment into a full-blown million-dollar empire – 109 times their initial stash! Who needs a lottery when you’ve got meme coins, right?

The word on the court floor: BitMine Immersion Technologies-known mostly for digging up Bitcoins as enthusiastically as Molière’s characters chase an inheritance-has scooped up precisely 833,137 ETH! Move aside, SharpLink Gaming; the throne is not for the slow-footed. One must wonder: do they mine ETH, or wish to marry it?

This incident, which could easily be mistaken for the plot of a heist movie, is possibly the largest crypto theft ever by dollar value, surpassing even the infamous Mt. Gox. And yet, it went unnoticed by all but the most dedicated chain-analysis aficionados until now. Who knew that the world of crypto could be so… dramatic? 🎭

As August looms, the all-important question emerges: which of these tiny treasures will continue to tickle our fancy and lead the next chapter of financial frivolity? BeInCrypto, with a decidedly analytical eye, has examined three such coins that seem poised to dance further into our hearts-and wallets-this month.

Market analysts, those modern-day oracles, whisper that while short-term volatility flutters like a moth around a flame, Bitcoin’s destiny remains tethered to the whims of whales and the patience of long-term holders. And where do these illustrious whales congregate, you ask? Why, none other than Binance-the veritable Versailles of cryptocurrency exchanges.

In what reads like a plot from a tech thriller, Schwartz mentioned that if they had a clean slate… they’d go with Rust, the shiny new language loved by hackers and hobbyists alike. Also, they might even make the transaction engine run in its own virtual machine, like a digital puppeteer pulling strings behind the scenes. 🤡

Chairman Michael Saylor recently appeared in an interview, explaining his vision for the company’s future. Despite BTC’s slight drop last week, he remains confident in a multi-decade vision for crypto. 🚀

The heatmap data from LiquidityHunts, a modern-day oracle, reveals a dense concentration of liquidation interest in the $35 to $30 range. The bright liquidity bands, like magnets, pull the price towards them, suggesting that any real bounce must first contend with these formidable barriers. The chart, with its lower highs and tight consolidation near these pockets, paints a picture of a market on the brink, with a strong probability of a retest towards the $35 zone. 📊🔄

Now, everybody’s whispering, “Ooh, maybe it’ll hit $3 again!” Sure, anything’s possible. Next, you’ll tell me George will pay for dinner. The latest bounce is not just a relief rally, they say. If the ‘significant resistance levels’ drop, then-oh, I’m sorry, am I losing you? Welcome to crypto, where resistance means you probably owe someone money. Nothing says ‘fun’ like a rally that ends with a faceplant.