Metaplanet’s Bitcoin Bonanza: 463 More Coins, Because Why Not? 🎩💰

Bitcoin

Это не конечная точка — о нет! Итоговая сумма их биткоинов составляет 17,595 штук — не малая армия электронных монет, которая по среднему приобретению стоит чуть менее 14,85 миллиона йен за каждую — что есть, к слову, отдельная философия. Общая стоимость — более 261 миллиарда иен, или, на всякий случай, полтора миллиарда долларов, что, безусловно, заставит любой инвестор с умыслом подумать о своих инвестициях на диване и кофейной гуще одновременно.

Satoshi’s Shattered Soul: Who Dared Defy the Blockchain? 💸

On August 3, 2025, the creators of the Satoshi Nakamoto statue, Satoshigallery, unveiled a tragedy: the figure, a spectral silhouette of black steel and hoodie, had vanished. Unveiled last year, it was a phantom of anonymity, its fragmented form a metaphor for the man behind the myth. 🧟‍♂️

The Whale’s Wild Crypto Circus: Short, Liquidate, Repeat! 🐋💥

His arsenal of financial midlife crises included being short BTC (a formidable 40x), ETH (a daring 25x), SOL (a sprightly 20x), and XRP (also 20x, because why not?). But XRP—the rebellious token—had other plans. It surged above his entry point of $2.894, turning his bold bets into a financial Cézanne—an explosion of color in losses exceeding $650,000, sending his total position to a shivering $18.6 million. Talk about *splashes* in the pool! 🎨💸

XRP: Smart or Just… Really Hopeful? 🤷

It all stemmed from an X post, regurgitating an article by someone at The Motley Fool (a name that, frankly, sounds like a villain in a low-budget superhero film). The headline, you see, suggested that handing over five hundred of your hard-earned dollars to XRP was an act of sheer brilliance. Apparently. It’s like suggesting artisanal cheese is the solution to world peace. It *might* improve your Tuesday, but… 🤔

Bitcoin Buy-Up: Is This a Smart Move or Utter Madness? 🤔

They spent 8 billion Japanese yen (which is, apparently, $53.7 million – honestly, all these numbers make my head hurt) getting the Bitcoin, averaging about $115,895 a pop. It’s a lot of money. Like, *a lot*. I could buy a small island with that… or maybe just a really nice flat. Anyway, their total haul is now 17,595 Bitcoin – worth over $2 billion. They’re the seventh-largest corporate Bitcoin holder. Which means they’re doing… something. 🤨

Bitcoin’s Bounce: A Bullish Ballet or Just a Blip? 🎭💰

To unravel this financial farce, one must look beyond the chart—a bit like peering behind the curtain at a magic show. On-chain signals from long-term holders, valuation trends, and trader sentiment are all doing a rather synchronized dance, pointing toward one key BTC price level. 🕺💹