qfx One Scudo = one-thousandth of a troy ounce. Sounds fancy, right? But really, it just means you can pay for that artisanal avocado toast or tiny latte with glittering gold-no decimal gymnastics needed. Who knew gold could be this easy? It’s like converting your gold into the world’s most glamorous pocket change.
Hey @grok why is XRP pumping?
In a grand announcement today, Kraken Institutional and Ethena Labs have revealed that Kraken Custody will safeguard the backing assets for the venerable USDe stablecoin. Following an exhaustive examination (presumably involving much tea and contemplation), the Ethena Risk Committee has bestowed their blessing upon this union.
Ethereum, that paragon of financial ingenuity, continues to monopolize the spotlight in on-chain finance, its stablecoin activity surging like a well-stocked wine cellar at a Soho soirée. These transfers have reached such astronomical heights that one might suspect the blockchain has developed a taste for champagne. Joseph Young, that indefatigable market raconteur, has declared Ethereum’s stablecoin flows a new all-time high-presumably to outshine even the most fastidious of Victorian accountants.
Polymarket, that crypto prediction platform where people bet on events using USDC, has quietly slipped in a new wrinkle: taker fees for its 15-minute Bitcoin and Ethereum up/down contracts. Most markets remain free, but the fastest ones now come with a “speed tax”-because why let humans trade without charging them twice?
EASY Residency, a global farce-sorry, initiative-led by YZi Labs, purports to nurture early-stage companies in Web3, AI, and biotech. CertiK, ever the generous patron, will bestow upon these fledgling enterprises not only a $1 million audit grant but also access to their Skynet Boosting and AI-powered code-scanning tools. Because nothing says “we care” like a robot checking your homework. 🤖
Coinbase is typically used by U.S. institutions, hedge funds, and high-net-worth individuals using Coinbase Prime/Pro. Because nothing says “democratic revolution” like a platform that charges 4% fees and occasionally freezes withdrawals. 💸
Morgan Stanley, in a move that might make you laugh or cry-probably both-has registered forms S-1 with the SEC, requesting permission to launch two spot cryptocurrency ETFs. Ah, the sweet taste of progress! It’s no longer just about offering crypto in a box-no, now they want to give you a box of your own, with a big shiny logo on it, perhaps with a bitcoin-shaped bow. Fancy!
Here’s the scoop: this generous package includes audits, Skynet’s omniscient monitoring (because who doesn’t want a digital watchdog?), and AI-driven security scans that sound like something out of a sci-fi flick. The emphasis? Making security a default feature rather than an afterthought. Who knew it could be so fashionable? 🤖✨
“Minimal stablecoin exposure,” Hayes declared, as though uttering a sacred vow. Yet what is a stablecoin but a mirage in the desert of crypto? The fund, now awash in risk assets, clings to privacy coins and DeFi tokens like a drowning man to a bottle of champagne. “Spare cash into Bitcoin,” he wrote, “but our dollar stables position is very low.” One wonders if Hayes’ quill trembles as he pens such lines, or if he’s simply practiced in the art of self-deception.