qfx In the grand game of market capitalization, our friend XRP has wrestled the fourth spot away from Binance Coin, which, bless its heart, only managed a dainty 1% increase in daily value and a sprightly 4.4% over the week. With BNB lounging comfortably at $120 billion, XRP has decided to strut its stuff at nearly $122 billion. Talk about a financial catfight! 🐱👤
OKX has proudly released its 38th monthly Proof of Reserves report-because what’s better than watching numbers go up? The snapshot, dated December 11, shows that amidst chaos and clown shows in the markets, user assets are holding their ground. Well, at least some of them. 💼
The market’s current state is as coherent as a drunkard’s limerick: macroeconomic fog, liquidity sapped like a tapeworm on a feast, and risk appetite weaker than a wet noodle. Yet, price action sashays like it’s waltzing through a drought, humming the tune of “Wait, maybe this isn’t doom after all?” Whether it’s a relief rally or the calm before the hurricane remains as clear as mud-though cryptofolks have mastered the art of reading tea leaves in candlestick charts. ☕📉
According to the ever-so-clever Finora AI, HBAR/USDT has responded with the gusto of a leading lady, forming a higher-low pattern that screams, “The sellers? Oh, they’ve lost their sparkle, darling!” Buyers, it seems, have reclaimed the stage and stabilized the price action with a flourish. 🎭
Crypto ended the year going nowhere fast. Bitcoin hovered around $87,000 on Monday, while Ether traded just under $3,000, moving in lockstep with a broader pullback in U.S. equity markets as tech stocks cooled. How thrilling. But for Grayscale, price action is no longer the main story. Oh, how the mighty fall-into a spreadsheet.
Price may have plucked the upper boundary of the triangle, but it’s lacking the vigor of a mule at a county fair.
In a move as subtle as a sledgehammer, Wallet of Satoshi has severed its custodial ties with the European Union, casting aside nations like Germany, France, Italy, Spain, the Netherlands, and Poland. The once-trusted wallet now greets users with a cold message: “No longer available in your region. You can keep using Wallet of Satoshi in Self Custody mode.” Ah, the irony of freedom in self-custody, a bitter pill for those who cherished simplicity.
The saga began, as all great tales do, with an on-chain investigator named ZachXBT, who stumbled upon clusters of vanished funds. “How peculiar!” he must have mused, sipping his coffee. Though each theft was but a trifle-under $2,000-the cumulative sum now exceeds $107,000, and counting. One imagines the thief chuckling into their virtual beard.
In case you’re wondering, the 24-hour volatility is a thrilling 3.4%, and the market cap stands at a staggering $371.62 billion. That’s right, folks, Ethereum is basically the popular kid in school, while other cryptocurrencies are still trying to find their lunch tables.
Crypto markets, that capricious mistress, closed December with an unexpected twist as privacy-focused coins, those shadowy saviors, surged 23.3%, defying a broader market slowdown. Zcash, Monero, Dash, Decred, and Horizen, like stars in a celestial dance, led the gains, signaling renewed investor interest in privacy technology. 🌌✨