Bitcoin’s $90K Fiasco: Will It Bounce Back or Crash?

When the $BTC price dared to breach the major trendline, it seemed the bottoming phase was finally over. 🤭 But alas, the $90,000 wall proved too formidable. The price recoiled like a startled cat, plummeting back to the ascending trendline. 🧨 A retest of the downtrend line? A mere formality, darling. 🤭

Cicely LaMothe Retires, Leaving a Crypto Wonderland Trail 🚀🔶

On December 29, LaMothe announced her retirement with the kind of poise usually reserved for fleeing a collapsing neutron star. “After all these years, I’m leaving with a sense of honor and gratitude… primarily gratitude that I’ll no longer need to pronounce ‘Proof-of-Work’ correctly under scrutiny,” she declared.

Ether’s Plunge: $2K or Bust? 🤑💸

Old man McGlone, Bloomberg’s senior commodity strategist, took to the Twitter-sphere (or whatever they call it these days) to sound the alarm on Ether. He’s wagging his finger, saying it’s more likely to tumble toward $2,000 than climb to $4,000. Seems the poor thing’s been underperforming longer than a lazy hound dog on a porch. 🐕☀️

Bitcoin’s Secret Schemes: Will BTC Rise from the Ashes?

According to the cryptic scrolls of onchain data analysis from checkonchain, the long-term holder supply net position has turned positive, as if the cosmos itself had flipped a switch. Since July, Bitcoin’s price has plummeted like a stone from a medieval tower, now trading at a mere $87.3k-catalyzed, no doubt, by the whims of whale investors, those leviathans of the crypto sea. 🐋📉

🤑 China’s Digital Yuan: Now with Interest! 🤑

📰 China’s central bank just dropped the hottest update since sliced bread-or should we say, sliced blockchain? Starting January 1, 2026, commercial banks can pay interest on e-CNY wallets. Yep, the digital yuan is no longer just a cash wannabe; it’s leveling up to “digital deposit” status. 🚀

Bitcoin ETFs 2025: Chaos, Cash, and Courage 💸

If 2024 was the cradle of spot Bitcoin ETFs, 2025 was their crucible. What unfolded was a year defined by extremes. Massive inflow surges were followed by equally violent pullbacks, yet liquidity remained deep, and investor participation never disappeared. 🧠💥