qfx Behold, the price of Ethereum today stands at a glorious $3888, with a market cap so bloated it could rival the ego of a Wall Street tycoon—$468 billion! And in just four days, it spiked over 10%. Quick, someone fetch the smelling salts for the bears! 🐻💨
Ethereum, in its bullish splendor, is tiptoeing ever closer to the illustrious $4,000 price mark, following a delightful bounce. Meanwhile, this second-largest cryptocurrency has now outstripped the market capitalization of numerous significant assets, marking yet another chapter in its rags-to-riches saga. Bravo, dear Ethereum! 🎩
PancakeSwap (CAKE) price has bulged up a plump 15% in just twenty-four hours, now trading at $3.30—if you can catch it! Trading volume? Surged a whopping 200%, which is a lot, even if you count in pancakes. This latest sugar rush began yesterday as CAKE finally hurdled the iron-bolted resistance of its triangle prison. Stellar performance for a dessert item!
Most Americans aren’t interested. A solid 60% say they have no plans to ever buy crypto. Only 6% are unsure or unfamiliar with the idea. Like, do you even know what it is, or are you just pretending to be cool? 😅
The unpredictable dance of the whales continues, as they swallow each crypto morsel, enshrouding XRP in a warm embrace that huffs mightily against the chill of decline.
But wait, there’s more! TRON, in its infinite wisdom, has minted a whopping $22 billion worth of USDT just in 2025. And no, that’s not a typo—$22 billion! Despite a little hiccup in the Total Value Locked (TVL) department just before the Nasdaq debut, TRON’s on-chain metrics are still strutting their stuff. In fact, the circulating supply of USDT on TRON has surpassed $80 billion. That’s like saying, “Hey, look at me, I’m the preferred blockchain for Tether activity!” 😎
Metaplanet has added another 780 Bitcoin (BTC) to its growing treasury, according to a new disclosure published on July 28. The latest purchase, worth about $93 million (13.7 billion Japanese yen), pushes the company’s total holdings to 17,132 BTC. One might wonder if they’re just trying to buy their way out of a stock slump, but hey, who am I to judge? 🤷♀️
Injective (INJ) is currently breaking out of an ascending triangle pattern, which is a bit like a triangle-shaped prison that’s finally been broken. It’s pushed through the horizontal resistance at $15.50 and hit an intraday high of $15.85 today. The move follows a bullish crossover between the 50-day SMA and the 20-day EMA, which is like when two friends decide to go in the same direction and end up making a lot of progress together. The 20-day EMA has continued to act as dynamic support, holding the fort during last week’s failed breakout attempt.
Crypto scams are the cockroaches of the financial world—persistent, annoying, and always finding crumbs to feast on. 🪳 They thrive in bull markets, much like how bad puns thrive in Wildean prose. The more people flock to crypto, the more scammers sharpen their knives—metaphorically, of course (we hope).
In a recent tweet that surely sent shivers down the collective spine of the meme coin community, Yakovenko took to social media, flailing his arms as he condemned these cartoonish currencies and those pesky non-fungible tokens (NFTs). Apparently, they’re not just fun and games; they lack “any semblance of intrinsic value.” Who knew? 😂
