Bitcoin Bull Market Bites the Dust at $70K – Expert’s Hilarious Doom Prophecy! 😂

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Markets

What to know:

  • BTC‘s bull run is over – kaput, finito, schlocky-pocky, says Ledn’s CIO Jon Glover after eyeballing them Elliot Waves like they’re from a bad sci-fi flick.
  • Glover reckons this bear market could party till late 2026, maybe later if the dipstick keeps failing. 😂

Bitcoin loafers, hold onto your digital socks! 😱

Jon Glover, that Elliott Wave whiz and Ledn’s Chief Investment Officer – you know, the guy with predictions sharper than a Springtime for Hitler joke – is crashing the bullish hoo-ha with a warning spicier than horseradish: The bitcoin bull market from early 2023? Pfft, gone with the wind (or should I say, tumbled like a drunken comediene) after dropping from $126,000 smackers to a measly $104,000. What a letdown!

Glover now prophesies a bear market that’ll drag prices to $70,000 or worse, a plunge of over 35% from the current $108,000 hangover. Ouchie-wawa for your wallet! 💸

“I am convinced we’ve wrapped up that five-wave upward hooha and are diving into a bear bash lasting at least till late 2026,” Glover spouts like an old vaudevillian. “Expect BTC to boogie between $70K and $80K, or maybe even lower – cue the sad trombone! 🎺”

Meh, sure, bitcoin might try retesting its highs around $124,000 or inch up a tad, but the big kahuna trend’s gone sour, so prices are probably gonna plummet in a few moons. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya with my sarcastic smirk. 😏

The Elliott Wave theory – aka The Psychic Stock Ballet

Cooked up by Ralph Nelson Elliott in 1938, Elliott Wave Theory hinges on the nutty notion that mob psychology dances in predictable, wave-like shimmy. They form a five-wave strut in the trend’s direction: three big leaps (impulse waves) and two burps (corrective waves). Riveting stuff, folks!

Bitcoin’s bullish five-wave cha-cha kicked off in late 2022 at under $20K, climaxing with wave five hitting cosmic highs over $126K this month. Talk about a plot twist!

At first, wave 5 was hyped to rocket to $140K-$150K by New Year’s. Glover barked this back in August, amid bearish whispers after a nosedive from $120K to $112K. Prices blasted off as predicted, but sputtered out past $125K this gonif, making Glover hiss that flopping again would burgle the bull’s mojo. Then, boom – bitcoin belly-flopped to $105K last week, sealing the bull run’s fate like a bad Borscht Belt joke.

“Now we’ve cratered below $108K, I gotta choose: the orange path for a romp to $145K, or the yellow brick road meaning we’ve peaked? My verdict: THE BULL RUN IN BITCOIN IS OVER, KAPUT, FINISHED! 👎”

This gloomy outlook jives with bitcoin’s comic history: peaks after halvings, then bear markets about 18 moons later. Last chop in April 2024, so buckle up, cowboys! 🤠

Backing Glover’s doom ‘n gloom, Amberdata’s doodads show BTC’s Deribit put options (fancy talk for downside insurance) are pricier than calls through September 2026. Translation: Traders are hedging bets for a potential crypto Holocaust extending into next year. Oy vey, hide the blow-up balloon! 🎈

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2025-10-19 17:01