On a fateful day, January 13, the world witnessed a historic event-a tale of greed, gold, and digital serpents. Strive Enterprises (Nasdaq: ASST) danced the waltz of shareholder approval, embracing Semler Scientific (Nasdaq: SMLR) in a union that would etch their names into the annals of crypto lore. 🚀💰
The key details 📜
Two titans of Bitcoin, locked in a dance of digital gold, now merge their vaults, transforming Strive into a titan of the blockchain realm. 🏛️💎
As the deal unfolds, Strive swallows Semler’s 5,048.1 Bitcoin-a treasure trove that makes even the most seasoned pirates weep with envy. 🤑
And to top it off, Strive recently gobbled up 123 BTC at a price that would make a medieval merchant blush. 🧙♂️
Post-merger, the combined entity boasts 12,797.9 Bitcoin, a number so large it could fund a small country’s cryptocurrency experiment. 🌍💸
This digital hoard catapults Strive past Tesla and Trump Media & Technology Group, securing its spot as the 11th Bitcoin behemoth. 🏆
Strive’s plan? To turn Semler into a Bitcoin-only beast, with a roadmap so clear it could guide a blind squirrel. 🧠
They’ll monetize Semler’s medical division, pour cash into debt repayment, and simplify their structure to focus solely on Bitcoin-because why have multiple businesses when you can obsess over one? 🧩
CEO Matt Cole, ever the optimist, claims the merger will boost Bitcoin yields to 15% in Q1 2026. A promise as shaky as a teetering stack of crypto memes. 📈
“I’m proud of the execution…” he declares, as if the world isn’t already watching, wide-eyed, at the spectacle. 🤯
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2026-01-14 00:43