Oy vey! So, Bitcoin, that little digital shekel, it had a good run, a really good run! It practically tripped over $115,000! Like a clumsy waiter with a tray full of gold coins! But then… BAM! Down it goes! Two grand gone! Two grand! It’s enough to make a grown crypto-trader cry into his gefilte fish.
And the altcoins? Forget about ’em! They were doing the cha-cha for a minute, full of pep, then…POOF! Back down they went. HYPE and ASTER? Don’t even *ask*. They’re performing worse than my mother-in-law’s borscht. 😖
BTC Hit a Wall (Literally, $115K)
Last week, it was a tragedy, a complete and utter shanda for Bitcoin. Started strong, $115,500! Then the bears came out, the grumpy, bearish bears, and they shoved it south! Hard! First, down to $112,000 – a 10-day low! Like somebody took all the air out of the blimp! But that was just a warm-up. It kept falling, falling, falling… Oy gevalt!
Then came Friday, and Bitcoin… it slipped, below $109,000! Twice! A near disaster! But it held on, barely. Sideways it went, like a confused penguin. 🐧
Monday, the bulls – the big, strong bulls – they showed up! They grabbed Bitcoin, hoisted it up, all the way to $114,800! Almost there! But then, tragedy struck again! $115,000… it was a fortress! An impenetrable wall! Rejected! And down it went, back to under $113,000. A heartbreak! A comedy of errors!
Currently, it’s worth a measly $2.250 trillion. And it thinks it’s so dominant? Please! 56.7%? That’s barely enough to buy a decent pastrami on rye!
The Altcoins Are Having a Meltdown!
They tried to jump on the bandwagon, these altcoins, with their little gains. Ethereum went briefly above $4,200, but now it’s sobbing in a corner, $100 poorer. SOL, XRP, ADA, AVAX, XLM… they’re all looking a little green around the gills. 🤢
But HYPE, ENA, IP, and ASTER? Oh, those poor, unfortunate souls! They’re losing up to 10%! It’s like watching a vaudeville act go horribly, horribly wrong.
The whole crypto market lost over $60 billion! $60 BILLION! Can you believe it? Back below $4 trillion. It’s a disaster! A catastrophe! A… well, you get the idea. 🎭
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2025-09-30 13:18