Bitcoin, that capricious old Aunt Augusta of the crypto salon, has determined once again to recover its dignity, vaulting past $113,000 for the first time since last Friday’s embarrassment. One might almost suspect it of having attended a motivational seminar-possibly led by an NFT.
The minor coin contingent, ever aspiring to relevance, has been up to its usual mischief. HYPE, which apparently mistook ‘all-time high’ for a spiritual calling, has ascended beyond previous records, clutching desperately to its spot in the sun like a junior member of the aristocracy at Ascot. 🎩
Shall We See BTC At $113K-or Will It Wander Off To The Bar?
Last week, Bitcoin suffered a bout of melancholia, swooning below $108,000 more often than a debutante at her first ball. On Thursday, the bulls, with all the subtlety of a country squire arriving late for dinner, staged a revival, propelling BTC all the way up to $113,400 upon receipt of the latest US jobs report (the markets have been known to react more poorly to employable Americans).
Unfortunately, BTC promptly met a frosty rebuff at this promising altitude, plummeting $3,000 in less time than it takes most crypto influencers to mispronounce ‘decentralization.’ The weekend passed in the sort of driftless fashion associated with Sunday luncheons-mostly sideways action between $110,000 and $111,500 that would not have impressed Lady Bracknell.
Monday saw Bitcoin attempt a heroic assault on $113,000 yet again, only to be shrugged off by a sullen market. But the bulls, clearly on the same energy supplement as MYX Finance fans, mounted a fresh charge and steered BTC just above $113,200 as of this morning. It is, as of press time, circulating in the region of $113,000-if you can call market loitering ‘circulating’.
Market cap now sits at $2.25 trillion-assuming anyone is still counting. BTC’s dominance, meanwhile, has slipped to 56.1%, perhaps in protest against too much responsibility. 💼

MYX Ascends: Champagne, Chaos, and the Usual Regret
And now, the spectacle of the day: MYX Finance (MYX), a new darling among the top 100 alts, has made an entrance worthy of a Bolshevik poet, leaping nearly 280% in a single day. Anybody still holding last year’s alts might wish to retrieve that fainting couch. The asset now trades above $16, though how long before reality sets in is anyone’s guess.
These triple-digit acrobatics are rarer than etiquette at a crypto conference. Next in line, WLD, enjoying a post-rally glow, has soared an additional 50% and briefly grazed $2-before, like all things promising in the altcoin world, it was hustled below that threshold with a look of wounded surprise. 🎠
Trailing nobly behind are M, SKY, ENA, NEAR, BONK, and PENGU, who have eked out modest victories between 7% and 13%. HYPE, forever the aspirant, hit its own high above $54 after a polite 6% daily leap.
The larger-cap alts are also basking in the green, with LIKE, ADA, and XLM posting up to 5.5% rises-positively respectable, if hardly the stuff of Gatsby’s garden parties.

Read More
- Oh, The Drama! Crypto Whales Evacuate as Market Prepares to Shuffle 🌪️
- Will Solfart Fart Its Way to Crypto Fame? 🤔
- Ethereum’s Price Plummets, But Its Economy Dances Salsa – Here’s the Plot Twist!
- Trump’s Family Buys Wild Amount of Bitcoin Mining Machines?! ASIC Madness!
- Is Hyperliquid About to Explode? (Spoiler: Probably Not) 🔥
- Bitcoin ETFs Make It Rain While Ether Buys a One-Way Ticket Out 🪙📉
- Ripple’s RLUSD Invades Africa: Stablecoin or Scam? 😱
- 🇬🇧 BoE’s £20K Cap: Aave Founder Calls UK “Losers” – Crypto Drama Unfolds! 💸
- 🚀 Stellar Plummets Like a Discworld Turtle Off a Cliff! 🌪️
- SKY Crypto Surges: Is a Pullback Coming? 🚀
2025-09-09 12:29