Bitcoin vs. Gold: The Cosmic Battle for Your Wallet 🚀

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On a Friday that felt more like a lazy Thursday, Michael Saylor-executive chairman at Strategy and part-time philosopher of the digital age-graced Bloomberg with his presence. In his usual style, which can only be described as “prophet meets tech bro,” he declared that tariffs on Swiss gold bars would send humanity hurtling toward Bitcoin faster than you can say “blockchain.” 🌍✨

According to Saylor, Bitcoin’s charm lies in its ethereal nature. “It’s not physical!” he exclaimed, as though revealing the punchline to a cosmic joke. “No tariffs in cyberspace!” Apparently, gold has been too busy being heavy, slow, and generally inconvenient to keep up with Bitcoin’s intergalactic swagger. “You try shipping gold across an ocean,” he quipped, clearly envisioning a world where pirates are replaced by Excel spreadsheets. “Now you’re getting tariffed!” 😈💸

This development, Saylor insists, is just the universe aligning to give Bitcoin another round of institutional love. Because nothing screams romance like a geopolitical trade spat sparking a crypto gold rush. 🏦🔥

Earlier this week, news of U.S. tariffs on gold bars hit the bullion market like a meteorite crashing into a field of cows. Now, the White House plans to issue an executive order to clarify what Reuters politely calls “misinformation.” Or, as we might call it, “the art of making everyone confused while looking official.” 📜🧐

Altcoins? Don’t Make Him Laugh 😂

When asked about the growing number of treasury companies dabbling in altcoins, Saylor waved them off like a waiter ignoring a table of indecisive diners. He’s convinced that the vast majority of capital is still flowing into Bitcoin, thank you very much. Altcoins may be trendy, but Bitcoin remains the OG cryptocurrency-the Beyoncé of blockchain, if you will. 🎤👑

And just to prove his point, Saylor noted that the number of Bitcoin treasury companies has skyrocketed from 60 to around 160 in the past six months. That’s either impressive growth or proof that humans have finally realized shiny metal is so last millennium. 📈💎

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2025-08-08 23:43