In a move that made central bankers in Frankfurt, Washington, and Basel choke on their morning espresso, the People’s Bank of China announced that e-CNY wallets would now earn interest-just like a demand deposit. Because, why not? Physical cash doesn’t pay interest, of course. That would be absurd, like charging rent to a rock. But the digital yuan has apparently read Dostoevsky and decided it, too, desires meaning-and compound interest.
Spot Bitcoin ETFs in the U.S. have finally stopped crying and started net inflows-$355 million, to be exact. Seven days of sob stories about outflows? Over. Tax-loss harvesting and de-risking? Sounds like Wall Street’s version of a spa day 🏖️.
On Natalie Brunell’s Coin Stories (Dec. 30), Kang argued that Bitcoin’s woes aren’t its fault but rather the result of living in a universe still haunted by macroeconomic uncertainty, tech stock tantrums, and the lingering trauma of 2020. “It’s not Bitcoin’s fault the Fed’s a drama queen,” he probably said, sipping a latte made from his own cryptocurrency dividends.
It is a curious thing, this resurgence. The network, once plagued by chaos, now hums with the quiet confidence of a man who has finally mastered the art of balancing his accounts. Yet, one cannot help but wonder: is this a true awakening, or merely the feverish dream of a system desperate to prove itself? 🤔
According to those who track such things (crypto.news, in this case), TRX wobbled around a bit, peaking at $0.286 on December 31st, before settling for a quiet life at $0.284. Which, as of today, is 5% better than its December slump and a whopping 35% up from its annual low. So, progress. Sort of. 🎉
Picture it: by late December 2025, prediction markets boasted over $4.5 billion in weekly notional volume-think of it as the crypto world’s record-breaking marathon, with an extra shot of adrenaline. This was a nifty 12.5% jump week-over-week, perhaps signaling that the old joke about ‘predicting the unpredictability’ is finally giving way to actual serious money.
On the higher timeframe, Ethereum is still stuck in a Wyckoff Accumulation structure 📚, a never-ending cycle of accumulation and consolidation 🤯. After the Selling Climax (SC) and Automatic Rally (AR) phases, ETH spent an extended period in Phase B, marked by volatility and repeated tests of demand 📊. It’s like watching a cat chasing its tail – entertaining, but ultimately, going nowhere 🐈.
Buterin sagely observes that the strings of checks and balances, once the fabric holding our societal circus together, are fraying like a proletarian’s knitwear in a vigorous debate. The 21st century, it appears, is but a tear in the frill. The grand puppeteers have cast aside their ethical marionettes.
Bitwise, the crypto version of a person who’s convinced they’re a genius, has once again thrown its hat into the ring. The ETFs would track assets like Zcash, Sui, and Hyperliquid. Because who doesn’t want to invest in a cryptocurrency named “Hyperliquid”? 💸
BlackRock quietly transferred $214 million worth of Bitcoin [BTC] and Ethereum [ETH] to Coinbase Prime, as if the crypto gods had whispered, “Time to liquidate, darling.” 🕵️♂️
