Cryptonews

Ether hits $4,000 for the first time since December 2024, making everyone in the crypto world do a double-take. 😂

Sam Altman leaned back in his ergonomic garden bench, puffed out his cheeks, and murmured, “Good heavens, I finally found an interlocutor who speaks gooder than I.” Said paragon, Chat GPT-5, has been foisted upon an unsuspecting world without even a polite knock at the door. 🙂

The never-ending tango between the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and Ripple Labs has officially hit its final bow. In a joint filing to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, both parties agreed to drop their appeals. And just like that, one of the most dramatic episodes in crypto history ends-not with a bang, but with a bureaucratic whimper. 📜✨

On this fine day, August 8, 2025, Ethereum (ETH) boasts a market cap of $470.8 billion-12.2% of the crypto economy’s $3.87 trillion pie. Over the last 24 hours, $32.5 billion worth of ETH changed hands, dancing between $3,806 and $3,972. But beware, dear reader: greed is a dangerous game. The rally triggered liquidations totaling $103.10 million, with short-sellers getting absolutely wrecked to the tune of $76.15 million. 😅 Poor souls!

By the 4th, the deluge persisted-425.54 billion SHIB poured in, the price clinging to $0.000013 like a drunkard to a lamppost. Yet the tide, ever fickle, began to recede.

According to some smart folks at CryptoQuant-those digital wise guys-seems like the rally’s got just enough steam left for a last hurrah before heading downhill. No offense, but the bulls appear to be ridin’ that rollercoaster one last time, and some big whales are fixin’ to make sure they’re sittin’ pretty when it all comes crashin’ down.

“XRP,” Morgan declared on X, “was, is, and forever will be, not a security. Mark my words, by the stars and the Mississippi!”

But wait, don’t get too excited yet. According to the ever-so-wise 10x Research, there are several catalysts driving these two crypto kings toward key levels. In their July 28 note, they bravely forecasted that Bitcoin might retest its $111,673 breakout point, providing a favorable risk/reward entry. And guess what? On August 7, Bitcoin dipped to $111,643 and then, like a true diva, swiftly rebounded to $117,000. *dramatic gasp*

Storm-no relation to the weather, though equally blustery-has been marked in New York’s courts as captain of an unlicensed money transmission contraption. His crime? The sort beloved of regulatory staff picnics and the FBI’s PowerPoint slides.

These rumors-fanciful whispers that fluttered through the grapevine-claimed SBI had already crawled into bed with some crypto ETFs, tossing in Bitcoin and XRP like a flamboyant chef throwing spices into a pot. A bold claim, indeed. Yet, amid the smoke and mirrors, the company proclaims: “Nada,” or “not yet,” without dread or regret. A shrug from the gods of finance, daring the skeptics to believe.