“You make uninformed noise and try to move the market or something. You’re not helping,” Back said in an X post on Friday, after Carter explained in an X post why Castle Island Ventures invested in Project Eleven, a startup focused on protecting Bitcoin and other crypto assets from the threat of quantum computing. 🧙♂️💸
The downward plunge is getting… less plunge-y, if that makes any sense. It’s not tumbling like a sack of potatoes anymore, but it’s still not bouncing back up. It’s sort of… wobbling. Volatility, they say, is “compressing.” Sounds like someone’s squeezing the life out of it! And the RSI? Stuck down near the bottom like a particularly gloomy grub. It’s not a recovery, you see. It’s just… holding its breath.
Launching at the peculiar hour of 20:00 JST on December 18, 2025, this service allows Londoners-well, anyone supporting 34 assets including XRP, Bitcoin, and even memetic curiosities like Dogecoin-to earn a lovely little yield, basically the cryptocurrency version of finding the last biscuit in the jar. Who wouldn’t want to make their dormant holdings work for them, instead of doing absolutely nothing? 🥱
The SEC, in a Friday communiqué, declared its triumph over these fallen stars, citing their roles in a grand ballet of investor fund misallocation from 2019 to 2022. A tale of hubris and hubris alone, it seems.
According to the most reliable sources (which, in this case, are the same as the least reliable), the vote occurred on December 18, 2025, and the crypto-friendly lawyer Selig is set to take over leadership of the agency as it prepares to play a larger role in digital asset oversight. 🧩
CryptoQuant’s analysis reveals a sinister twist: whales, those aquatic titans of the blockchain sea, are ferrying large volumes of XRP to Binance, creating a relentless sell-side pressure that dwarfs the ETF’s feeble attempts to buoy the market. It is a sordid affair, this tug-of-war between institutional optimism and whale-driven despair.
You see, dear reader, the clever folks in Washington-those masters of confounding arithmetic-have crafted a law, the Opportunity and Balanced Budget Act, which has left many over-withheld taxes in 2025, only to generously refund them in 2026. It’s almost as if Uncle Sam is playing a game of hide and seek with your hard-earned dollars. Spoiler alert: you’re “it.”
Trade volume is about as lively as a winter church on a weekday-short relief rallies are like fireworks: pretty but gone in a flash. Many investors, or rather the brave amateurs, seem paralyzed, unwilling to cast their gold into a sea of uncertainty. The market’s mood has shifted from eager optimism to a cautious, almost frightened, wait-and-see stance. Truly a spectacle of human folly! 😅
Privacy in crypto is like trying to keep a secret in a family reunion – nearly impossible, but we try anyway. Coins like Zcash (ZCH) are riding high again, making transactions as private as your last Netflix binge when the doorbell rings. Zcash founder Zooko Wilcox says it’s all about conversations that only you and your cashier understand – no eavesdroppers, just like grandma’s gossip at Sunday dinner. 🍽️
Coinjar, that old Aussie crypto dog who’s been hanging out in Australia, the UK, and Ireland, decided, “Hey, why not the U.S. too?” So now they’re vaulting in, all legit with federal and state rules, probably making regulators feel all warm and fuzzy. The kicker? They’ve got this Coinjar AI-yes, an AI assistant that you can bug about your portfolio while sipping your overpriced coffee. Because what’s better than doing math with a computer that probably knows more than your accountant? 🤓