Cryptonews

With the air of a man dissecting a particularly amusing farce, Pal divided the crypto landscape into three tiers of folly: the “idiot-proof” layer-1s, the “middle”-a veritable quagmire of DeFi esoterica-and the pièce de résistance, the “Moron Trade.” “Not an insult, mind you,” he assured, “merely an observation of the nouveau riche’s penchant for the cheapest trinkets in the window.” 🛍️🤡

Now, don’t go thinking this Doge has lost its luster. Sure, it ain’t broken its all-time high, but it’s still got more pep than a flea at a dog show. Back in January 2025, the ol’ boy hit $5.5 billion-its crowning moment before it came crashing down like a house of cards in a tornado. Then, in July 2025, it looked like it might claw its way back to glory, but nope-just $5.35 billion before it spiraled faster than a politician’s promises. 🤡

Now, picture this: XRP, at this very moment, is holding support at a level above $3, after having flirted with a wild crash below this line (thank you, bears!). But with a trendline as determined as a determined postman, it has managed to break above, sending a signal louder than a brass band that it’s all systems go for a possible continuation. It’s as though XRP was once a shy wallflower at the crypto dance, but now it’s strutting its stuff like the lead in a Broadway show.

So, they hit $122,056. Which is…something. They call it testing a “Fibonacci extension.” Sounds like a math problem I failed in 7th grade. From 2018 and 2022. Why those years? Don’t ask me. 🤷

Price action was nothing short of a theatrical performance, replete with early-session melodrama that saw a sharp drop from $3.24 to $3.16 during the 07:00 hour on a rather respectable volume of 144.54 million. However, buyers bravely defended the $3.15-$3.16 zone, leading to a late-session push that waltzed past the $3.22 resistance and held above $3.24 as the curtains fell.

The Electric Enterprise of Ethiopia (EEP), ever the shrewd salesman, once hawked its surplus energy to these foreign-backed fortune seekers-cash in hand, paid in hard currency. But as the sages of the land caution, the reported consumption might well be a mirage. In truth, these crypto miners have lined the coffers with a princely $338 million in export revenue last year-a 141% leap that seems almost too good to be true. And yet, despite 20 power stations and electricity flowing to neighbors like Kenya and Djibouti, only about half the Ethiopians even know what it means to flip a switch. The awaited Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam (GERD), promising a torrent of 5,000 megawatts, still dangles before a nation that must first string together the steel sinews of a modern transmission network. In this unfolding saga, progress and prudence dance a precarious tango, leaving one to smirk at the age-old twist: in the quest for power, sometimes the power you need is the very thing you risk losing. 😏

White House Crypto Council Executive Director Bo Hines announced on the social media platform X on Aug. 9, 2025, that he will step down from his role and return to the private sector. “Serving in President Trump’s administration and working alongside our brilliant AI & Crypto Czar David Sacks as Executive Director of the White House Crypto Council has been the honor of a lifetime,” Hines stated, elaborating:

It appears that Humanity Protocol has, at long last, thrown its hat into the ring. Its mainnet launch is nothing short of a grand fête, uniting one’s traditional Web2 credentials with the avant-garde Web3 services in a seamless and-dare I say-elegant fashion. Underpinned by the ingenious zero-knowledge Transport Layer Security, this integration allows one to demonstrate one’s identity without a single personal detail slipping through the cracks. A revolution in discretion, if ever there was one!

Niklas Kunkel, the mastermind behind Chronicle, dished the tea to CoinDesk about oracles. They used to be your run-of-the-mill price feeds, but now-thanks to Kunkel’s insights-they’re evolving into something far more intoxicating. Because who needs a one-dimensional data feed when you can have a full-blown, context-loaded risk management system? 🔮

After putting the kibosh on the hype around Ethereum’s NFT Torch, Beeple decides to crank up the drama in the digital collectibles scene. I mean, who needs a soap opera when you have this guy? 🙄