Cryptonews

Their creation, SWEEP, is a cash-sweep fund with the swagger of a Bond villain. Instead of shuffling dollars through the bureaucratic maze of traditional banking, it flings them onto Solana’s blockchain, where PYUSD (PayPal’s stablecoin) settles transactions like a digital Midas touch. It’s continuous, it’s instant, and it’s probably illegal in three countries by 2027. Ondo, the $200M seed money show-off, isn’t just throwing cash-it’s staking its reputation as the RWA kingpin of crypto. Galaxy, ever the tech jester, handles the blockchain wizardry, while State Street polishes its institutional crown with custody duties.

Glassnode, that modern-day scribe of blockchain tales, recounts a saga of woe: Bitcoin teeters above a cost-basis mirage but drowns in a sea of fading demand. Short-term investors, those poor souls, now dance on a tightrope of “difficult positions” while the market whispers, “Jump, and it may not break.” A fairytale, indeed.

Key Revelations, or as I like to call them, the Comedy Highlights:

Presales help projects get funded, test interest, and keep things decentralized. Or, as I like to call it, “the wild west of crypto.” 🤠 Here’s your guide to the top 7 presales you might want to invest in… or maybe just stare at for a while. 😂

Текущая картина $DOGE – это танец между надеждой и осторожностью. Цена, как капризная балерина, кружится вокруг ключевых уровней, то взлетая, то падая, но всегда оставляя за собой шлейф из спекулятивных слез и смеха. Объемы торгов, как хор древнегреческой трагедии, провозглашают: “Рынок жив! Рынок жаждет крови и мемов!” 😂

A bipartisan group of pro-crypto senators, united in their love for blockchain and divided on everything else, now agree that the markup-initially scheduled before Santa’s arrival-will likely be postponed until the New Year, when the only thing thawing will be the Senate’s collective sense of urgency.

21Shares, that Swiss alchemist of finance, claims stablecoins will surge past $1 trillion and tokenized assets hit $500 billion by 2026. A prophecy penned in spreadsheets and hope. 📊✨

In a press release as grandiose as a Russian novel, Gemini Space Station, Inc. (GEMI) proclaimed that its subsidiary, Gemini Titan, LLC, has finally secured the coveted approval from the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) to operate as a Designated Contract Market (DCM). This, they assure us, will allow them to offer regulated prediction markets to U.S. customers, a feat as predictable as a Nabokov plot twist. 🧙‍♂️

Key Intricacies Dressed as Takeaways