Cryptonews

Bitcoin done broke its previous records, but don’t ask me to round up that many dollars unless you want me robbing riverboats-source: Bitcoin Liquid Index

But wait! Just a day prior, the July US CPI print revealed that inflation, that ever-elusive specter, held steady at 2.7% year-over-year. Unchanged from June, it seems inflation is as stubborn as a mule, refusing to budge from its forecasted 2.8%. The overall CPI crept up a mere 0.2%, a whisper compared to June’s more boisterous 0.3%. Talk about a slow-motion race! 🐢

According to the Delaware State Department’s dusty scrolls, Canary Capital filed on a Wednesday, a day as mundane as a clerk’s cough, yet pregnant with the promise of riches untold. Though a formal filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) may tarry like a reluctant lover, the stage is set for a spectacle most grand. 🎭

Mark your calendars, darling: Oct. 29, 2025 is when the fun begins. Developers in the US will need to cozy up with local regulators as either money services businesses or money transmitters (how delightfully vague!). Meanwhile, our EU friends must register as crypto-asset service providers (CASP)-because nothing screams “cutting-edge” like a three-letter acronym, am I right? 🙄

And hold onto your digital wallets because crypto analyst Ali Martinez-yes, *the* Ali Martinez-just dropped some knowledge bombs on X post (because where else would you drop them?). He says XRP might be gearing up for a breakout so big, even Hollywood couldn’t script it better. 🍿🎬 Apparently, after doing some bullish retesting that probably involved more charts than an eye doctor’s office, traders are starting to get hopeful. Hopeful enough to dream about $3.60, at least. 💭📈

By month’s end, this new dollar twin-mUSD-might be sprouting wings, ready to take flight. Over 30 million folks have filed their monthly love letters (or complaints), and MetaMask is diligently working with Bridge, the financial sidekick (bought by Stripe, remember?), to get this show on the road, along with M^0, because why not sprinkle some protocol in the mix?

The filing occurred on August 12, 2025-a date that will surely be etched into the annals of crypto history alongside such monumental events as… well, let’s face it, no one remembers those dates anyway. But Grayscale’s modus operandi remains unchanged: form Delaware trusts first, then throw them at the SEC like spaghetti against a wall. 🍝

And don’t get me started on that last hour! Price swings, resistance at $2.94 slams NEAR in the face like an automatic door that doesn’t open. Volume at 15:09 goes berserk-396,000 traded in a single minute. Settles down, price flattens out, the excitement fizzles like bad seltzer. You could almost hear the collective sigh: “Eh, maybe tomorrow.” 🍹

These long-haulers (or Long-term Holders-LTHs, if you want to sound fancy) are the puppet masters of the market, twirling the strings of SHIB with a mere flick. Whether they toss their tokens into the wind or cling to them like a squirrel with a nut depends on whether the coin gets a boost or takes a scratchy tumble.

Today, dear readers, Pump.fun decided to sprinkle some fairy dust (or perhaps a more substantial form of magic) on its native token, PUMP. In just four hours, the platform bought back 175.3 million PUMP, which, in the grand scheme of things, amounts to about $705,000. Not bad for a quick afternoon stroll through the crypto market, eh?