This new law transforms a long period of legal ambiguity into a clear rule about “who owns what” when it comes to Bitcoin, stablecoins, and other tokenized assets. Welcome to the future. 👀
At the Founders Summit, Johnson spun a yarn about Fidelity’s early days in crypto, a time when most banks were too busy sipping espresso to notice the Bitcoin revolution brewing in the shadows 🕵️♂️. “We were just curious,” she said, as if curiosity was a 200k mining rig 🛠️.
According to Wolfe Research, this kind of schism (think political divide, but with more tokens and fewer debates about taxes) has historically preceded major market reversals. You know, the kind where you look at your portfolio and go, “Wait, did I just get rich? Or was that a glitch?”
The acquisition deal, announced on Thursday, values CoinMENA at a jaw-dropping $240 million. And guess what? Paribu boldly claims this is the largest fintech deal Türkiye has ever seen and-wait for it-the country’s first cross-border acquisition in the digital asset space. Oh, and it’s 2025. Just in case you forgot.
Polymarket, that famous wall of predictions, is planning to bring in some new traders-probably dressed in tuxedos or wizard hats-whose job is to pretend they’re on the other side of what users bet. Because nothing screams trust like a platform that acts like a crooked carnival barker! 🎩🎲
Key points (because who doesn’t love a good list?):
Hassett, ever the optimist, expects a 25-basis-point cut, claiming the Fed governors are “leaning in” like they’re at a middle school dance. 🕺 “We’re hoping to get to a much lower rate,” he said, because who doesn’t love a good bargain? Meanwhile, the rest of us are here wondering if our savings accounts will ever see interest again. 🙃
With 400 million XRP tokens locked up tighter than a Politburo secret, the market whispers of a revolution. Not with guns, but with spreadsheets. A revolution where “regulated” is the new “glamorous.”
