Cryptonews

Lee, in his infinite wisdom, insists that Strategy’s strength is no longer in the tired old profits or quarterly reports, but in what’s called a “crypto treasury.” Over 628,000 BTC-worth roughly $71 billion, but who’s really counting-are tucked away like a miser’s hidden gold, betting all on that one volatile, glittering hope called Bitcoin. They even went as far as filing a $4.2 billion offering-because what’s a little risk when you’re chasing immortality? 🎯

It all began with the visionary Michael Saylor, whose Strategy (formerly known as MicroStrategy) became the beacon of hope for many a crypto enthusiast. Like a knight in shining armor, Strategy rode forth into the land of digital currencies, amassing a treasure trove of over 600,000 Bitcoin coins. Imagine that! A mountain of digital gold, sitting there, waiting to be spent on… well, whatever one spends Bitcoin on these days. 🏆

But let’s not kid ourselves; today’s circus act has reignited doubts about MEMEFI’s long-term future. Will it rise like a phoenix or crash harder than a toddler’s block tower? Only time will tell.

So, picture this: Binance Coin’s price is playing a game of chicken inside this descending channel. Resistance at about $808-like a stubborn gatekeeper-and support hanging around $710-trying not to get pushed out the door. Recent action? It flirted with the middle of this mess at $762, bouncing around like a pinball. Either it’s gonna break out or take a nosedive back to $710, maybe lower-like a bad relationship that just won’t let go. And if it hits $700? Well, that’s where the real drama starts-buying pressure or no, who knows?

Over the last 15 days, Bitcoin [BTC] has become the flavor of the month for both whales and retail investors. 🐳✨ It’s like a bad movie where everyone rushes to the same exit during a fire, but hey, who am I to judge?

In a land where the digital and the absurd intertwine, China has proclaimed that iris-scanning and other such folly are threats to its national grandeur. 🧿 A statement, as cryptic as a Gogol novella, emerged from the depths of WeChat, courtesy of the Chinese Ministry of State Security (MSS). It read, with a wink and a nudge:

In language so dry it could cure a raisin, the SEC declared that these liquid staking activities don’t fall under the purview of the Securities Act of 1933 or the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. Fancy that! Participants, it seems, can breathe a sigh of relief and avoid the bureaucratic nightmare of registering their transactions. Huzzah for small mercies!

After five days of deliberation-an eternity in the realm of justice-the jurors, initially paralyzed by their own indecision, finally emerged with a verdict. Prosecutors, in a bid to coax the jury from their stupor, implored Judge Katherine Polk Failla to encourage further deliberation, as if they were trying to awaken a slumbering giant. Inner City Press, ever the diligent chronicler, reported on this legal odyssey.

quicker transactions, Soroban smarts, bridges spanning chains like socialites at a ball. The doctors of code whisper that Pi-currently v19-may vault straight to v23 in a single bound. Such prowess, they declare, will bolster cross-chain compatibility and, presumably, general morale.

According to an excruciatingly earnest Binance Research missive (delivered to CryptoMoon, perhaps by footman), tokenized stocks have soared to a market capitalization of $370 million by the end of July. Stealing the show is Exodus Movement (EXOD), galloping ahead with $260 million-leaving the rest of the field to squabble over a still-impressive $53.6 million, which, dear reader, amounts to a 220% leap in a single month. Champagne bottles, one presumes, are at risk of shortage.