According to a December 17 filing (yes, the same day you probably forgot to send your aunt a Christmas card), a seed investor dropped $1,000 on 4,000 shares at $0.25 each. That’s right, someone’s already in on the ground floor of this 2026 blockbuster. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to figure out how to pronounce “DeFi.”
The executive believes there’s a very high chance – around 90% – that the bill will be signed into law by April 2026. This is a more optimistic outlook than current predictions from most forecasting sources.
On the daily chart, Bitcoin has bumbled off the $68,300-$69,800 band, a zone that has proven to be as welcoming as a tapeworm to a dinner table. It’s not the first time the price’s ego has taken a nosedive there, and now momentum has paused for a bit of a breather.
The numbers are blunt, yet poetic: machines, like weary dancers, retreated into silence during the tempest, only to rejoin the dance when the storm had passed. The protocol, ever the meticulous choreographer, adjusted the dance floor to accommodate the returning performers.
If you’ve ever wondered why Americans can’t keep their hands off a crumbling crypto, here’s your answer: “bitcoin zero” searches hit a record 100 on Google’s relative interest scale in February. Because nothing says “confidence” like Googling how to cry in a cryptocurrency. Meanwhile, BTC slumped toward $60,000 after a 50%+ freefall from its October peak-because who needs consistency when you can have chaos?
As if that weren’t enough, the market cap took a nosedive, shrinking 24% to a paltry $1.34 trillion. Institutional investors, ever the pioneers of wisdom, added insult to injury with $2.9 billion in ETF outflows and dwindling trade volumes. It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash, but with more spreadsheets.
So, the chaps at BNP Paribas Asset Management, a European outfit with a penchant for fancy titles, have decided to dabble in the world of blockchain. They’ve issued tokenized shares of a French money market fund on the Ethereum network, of all places. Quite the leap from the stuffy old boardrooms of Paris, what?
In a masterclass of corporate accountability, Charles Wang and his band of crusaders have sued Grubhub for, gasp, not being transparent about fees. Imagine! Between 2019 and 2026 (yes, they’re still sorting out the past), Grubhub allegedly tricked you into paying for a “service fee” while also charging you to breathe near their app.
It is no secret that Kiyosaki’s words, like the winds of March, are fickle and unpredictable. His recent assertions, though bold, have not escaped the scrutiny of the vigilant masses. Some have labeled them as inconsistent, others as outright falsehoods. Yet, he persists, undeterred by the cacophony of criticism.
On Friday, Polymarket confirmed it purchased Dome, a Y Combinator-backed startup focused on unified API infrastructure for prediction markets. Financial terms were not disclosed-a coy omission, one suspects, to avoid alerting the IRS to the company’s gilded ambitions. The strategic intent? To build rails for developers so smooth, they’ll forget their socks are off.